Jokes/Puns thread

[LarissaFlash]

/me calls crashman to end this useless post

[-FiniteZero-]

Crashman walks into a bar. It did not end well.

"But I can't get a drink, I don't have haaaaaands!"

[Bokan]

#1   A pea rolled around the corner and falls over.

#2
Three cleaners clean a window.
The workers start a betting game about 1000$, who makes the biggest spit spot.
The first started with the gathering together of the spit in the nose and mouth.
He spits and his spot was a fist size.
The second just grins and starts.
He had caught a cold and it had been running the snot out of his nose already.
You could probably hear the nasty noise through the whole city.
After it stopped, the window was a head Big Spit spot.
The third started laughing and made his victory clear.
First he gathers his spit
and went to the first spit spot    "sluuuurp"
then he went to the second spit spot    "SLURP".
He threatens to burst already, so full are his cheeks.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ????? The boss comes in.
The third worker swallows deeply and says nothing.

[skully]

Yorick walks into a bar.


There is no counter.

Early game poke.


#TOTALLYRUINNINGTHEJOKE

[Captain Barlowe]

hi this is my first post in a while

Llama: "God damn it I just thought of the worst pun in the world. Hey thatguy."
Barlowe: "Yeah?"
Llama: "When that guy goes to play limbo, do you think he sets the bar low?"
Barlowe: *loses it*

[Ghoulitine]

What's brown-white and jumps?
A Jump-ignon.

Ok, now the way overused Shrek-Puns...

Where does Shrek eat?
At ShrekDonalds.

[DoomManFTW]

Cannot help myself but think of megaman puns and jokes...


The year is 21XX,and as you can see in storm eagle's stage,we still use airports.


Who is Rainbowman?A robot master that makes rain out of his bow.


Rockman no constancy?More like Rockman no mercy.

You defeated Chargeman,you got charge shot!

You know what was Mario known as the first time in japan?JUMPMAN(this is actually a true fact)

You know why there are stuff like stardroids and the genesis unit?So they have excuses for Catman(Pluto),Bullman(Ur-anus),Birdman(Jupiter),Crabman(Venus),Monkeyman(Buster Rod G.) and Pigman[Hyper(Darude Sand) Storm H.

"Let's make this a fair fight!"-*drops a huge statue on you out of nowhere*

Virusman thought about trying a new PC,he gets blue screen.

What is your problem with Blademan?He's just hanging around.

And now a random,stolen and bad pun:
I saw Black knight's shovel was getting bigger,than it hit me.

EDIT:Ok i did not look at all the replies and apparently the last joke was used again in other ways XP

[Beed28]

Originally, Stone Man was going to be called Rock Man, but couldn't because that name was already taken.

[DoomManFTW]

Fun fact:when i first played megaman 1/powered up i was not good at english enough to know why he was called gutsman,why not rockman?But months later i find out who is rockman originally XD