I made my first map (FINISHED)

[BookofDobson]

Ok so this is my first map here http://www.mediafire.com/download/kq2ficnkotbh4an/Dusty.wad

Why just one map? for criticism and seeing if I should be cut out for this thing. So yea that. It's off of Rockman 4 mi dustman.

First the obvious
1. there is a crusher in the middle of the map but i don't know how to code crusher  
2. There will soon be a segment on the map where you will take damage if you stay too long in there (like real game)

but other than those... LEND ME YOUR CRITICISMS!

[PotatoStrike]

Man, your first map's good. But, there are some details you must NOT ignore:

First, the skybox isn't curved and you can see the angles. You should make a curved one next time...


...and also, this. With the rest of the map, I have the feeling that map is in the under-underground. Seems bad.


Now, those elements. Nothing to say on this one. He is perfectly animated...


...but not the other one. He just pushes you out.


I haven't other things to say. When you will make your second map, watch out for these details!

[BookofDobson]

Man, your first map's good. But, there are some details you must NOT ignore:

First, the skybox isn't curved and you can see the angles. You should make a curved one next time...

I see. Will fix that asap

...and also, this. With the rest of the map, I have the feeling that map is in the under-underground. Seems bad.

I forgot that was line horizion... oops

Now, those elements. Nothing to say on this one. He is perfectly animated...


...but not the other one. He just pushes you out.


I don't get what you mean by this. It's the other convo's graphic awkward? Or the direction does not keep you  on the convo all the way

I haven't other things to say. When you will make your second map, watch out for these details!

[BookofDobson]

http://www.mediafire.com/download/l15023agy50zpf9/Dustyv2.wad

improve bump

[PotatoStrike]

That is better! But some other details must be fixed.

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Here, you see? It's like the skybox problem of Dusty v1!


And also, you forgot again to make an animation for this:

Ok that's all! 'Must correct this for a perfect map!

[BookofDobson]

http://www.mediafire.com/download/qrhjd ... sty+v3.wad

Poof.
I need to make the fire pit damage but thats it

[Ukiyama]

The skybox is jagged at certain spots, the map is flat and boring, the textures are not aligned on at the very least the crusher and are not put to good use in many areas, your boss music is a whopping 23 mega bytes for one song ALONE, it needs much more work. Points for the working teleporter and crusher though.

[BookofDobson]

The skybox is jagged at certain spots,
At certian corners it is but sure I'll work on that
the map is flat and boring,
Aww man, I guess more sectors it is then
the textures are not aligned on at the very least the crusher and are not put to good use in many areas,
1. Noted. Any more places? 2.The textures or the crusher?
your boss music is a whopping 23 mega bytes for one song ALONE,
I love seeing others PCs cry in agony over that JK will replace.
it needs much more work. Points for the working teleporter and crusher though.

All in all thanks man.

[BookofDobson]

http://www.mediafire.com/download/qrhjd ... sty+v3.wad
Final product. enjoy and criticize

[PotatoStrike]

Nothing to say. PER-FECT.

[Rozark]

On the contrary, I have plenty to say.
I'll admit, I hesitated picking this up quite a bit because I wanted to see how things would play out. Then I didn't want to because going through it would be a painful experience. But then I remembered something important: I support new mappers. I've made it part of my goal. The thing is, most new mappers give up due to heavy-ish criticism because they (The critics) expect a perfect map the first time around. I myself was nowhere near that with Rozpack V1. I'll be blunt: this map isn't looking too good. It seems as if you have some sort of idea down, but the execution isnt great. Let's continue with a few examples and what could be done.
Included is a "Rozark Gift Basket". It's my style of critiquing maps. However, considering this is a forum and we sort of need to get straight to the point, I won't be including any "bonus" pictures to help lighten the mood.

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Scratch that it's mandatory to have at least one.

A) This file is 11mb
No. This file should be around 2mb at the most. The map itself is usually 400-900kb, while the music bumps it up to an average of 1-1.4mb. Why this file, which contains only one map might I add, is 11mb I have no idea. Oh wait, that's because its the music's fault. Despite having a good stage jam, you need to compress those tunes. The critboss alone is about 7.7mb. Why. Change that to a .ogg and loop it properly, both of which can be done in Audacity. Don't just do it for the critboss, do it for ALL of the songs.

B) Texture Alignments Pt 1

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Most floor textures usually only come in two sizes: 16x16 or 32x32. Yet here we see the usual 32x32 but with an additional size of 16x16 on each side, resulting in 48x48. This isn't good for this type of "defined square" texture. This isn't the only instance of you doing this, but I figured it'd be enough to point out that you need to fix your texture alignments.

C) Texture and Teleporter Irks

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You have a fairly random dust junk texture on the wall there and what appears to be a "dining fest" next to a teleporter on a map that doesn't even need a teleporter.

D) Skybox Problems

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Before we get to the obvious "Hey look you didn't use this texture properly" issue, lets discuss the minor elegance that is the inward curve in the skybox. (That doesn't need to be there.) Anyways see that light green? Not a good sign.

E) Texture Blandness Pt 1

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Nothing interesting to see in here. It's just a floor and a wall. Not good. In some scenarios if used properly, this can be quite nice. This however, is not such scenario and is simply too bland.

F) Texture Alignments Pt 2

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Props to the working crusher. Similar to Part 1, the texture alignments on the crusher are off/incorrect. Again, this is mostly due to the sizing not being correct when drawing the sector.

G) Overly Obvious Visual Irks

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When on the "exterior" side of things, you cannot see over the ceiling despite the next room 2 feet over having a rather obvious high ceiling. Not really a problem per-se (because Slashman does stupid "logic" like this too) but it does create clenching.

H) Texture Blandness Pt 2

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Same as Part 1. This hallway is uninteresting, bland, cramped, and the teleporters aren't needed.

I) Incorrect Texture Usage Pt 1

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Unless part of the background story to this map involves it being built over a pile of rubble, there's better wall/side/step textures to use here besides a dust block. Also more texture mis-alignments shown here.

J) Texture Issues

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This room feels like a neat rave or something. Same problem exists here as the skybox. You see, that texture is a "rail" texture. You click a linedef, give it a middle texture (The "rail" texture) then tick lower unpegged on the other screen. Boom. Nice rail that shouldn't have the light green to it. The main texture of the linedef will still be the upper and/or lower texture.

K) Incorrect Texture Usage Pt 2

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The opposite of Part 1. Where Part 1 was the wall being incorrect, here we have the floor being incorrect. (The dust block floor)
Other examples of texture mis-alignment are also shown.

L) Texture Blandness Pt 3

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Not only does the bare green wall hurt my eyes for something that falls under the "Interior-Exterior" segment, but that large dustblock on top of the doorway doesn't settle right. I'm aware finding good doorway textures above 64x64 is difficult, but, ech.

M) Texture Alignments Pt 3

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Wall Edition. While floor texture sizes usually stay tame, wall textures have almost no bounds. The horizontal scaling is generally nice and ranges into maps quite well, while the vertical scaling goes down extremely well. This particular texture is 32x32(?). You seem to have the vertex inserted at the wrong spot and the texture scaled incorrectly.

N) Incorrect Texture Usage Pt 3

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Basically its just Pt 1 again but another example. The floor doesn't fit with the wall while the ceiling is questionable. I see those dolls, I see that inspiration.

-

I'd critique weapon layouts but I don't really know the balance on those or pay too much attention. I did notice junkshield, which, if you don't have an electric weapon on that map already you should add one to provide counterplay to junkshield. What I listed are just a few examples of problems with the map; more exist but aren't shown. Is the map salvageable? Sure. It just needs a fairly hefty amount of work thrown into it. If you maintain this motivation, then that work will be pretty easy.

I think that just about covers everything. Good luck with your future creations!

[BookofDobson]

Noted and thanks Roz Holy shit, we are having a nice conversation!.

[fortegigasgospel]

I'm just gonna post pictures of stuff that erks me here

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Skybox should at least be using the animated version. I don't have the green cause software, perhaps make a second sector behind the flame and just have the flame up top.

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Bottom of the crusher should be the texture you are using as a floor, not AstroB textures.

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Crusher texture used as floor.

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Why is this texture here?

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Mis-alignment.

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Like Rozark said about this texture

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This entire section should have a save walk way across, also Crash Bomb shouldn't be harder to get then Atomic Fire, also don't put party balls over items.

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Wrong texture

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The walls are being used as if there would be a black ceiling there, but there is skybox.

This map is supposed to be DUSTMI, but it just doesn't feel Dust MI to me.

Also, like Rozark said about the size, this map is bigger then DOSBETA by almost 3 times.

[BookofDobson]

I'm just gonna post pictures of stuff that erks me here

(click to show/hide)

Skybox should at least be using the animated version. I don't have the green cause software, perhaps make a second sector behind the flame and just have the flame up top.

(click to show/hide)

Bottom of the crusher should be the texture you are using as a floor, not AstroB textures.

(click to show/hide)

Crusher texture used as floor.

(click to show/hide)

Why is this texture here?

(click to show/hide)

Mis-alignment.

(click to show/hide)

Like Rozark said about this texture

(click to show/hide)

This entire section should have a save walk way across, also Crash Bomb shouldn't be harder to get then Atomic Fire, also don't put party balls over items.

(click to show/hide)

Wrong texture

(click to show/hide)

The walls are being used as if there would be a black ceiling there, but there is skybox.

This map is supposed to be DUSTMI, but it just doesn't feel Dust MI to me.

Also, like Rozark said about the size, this map is bigger then DOSBETA by almost 3 times.

Most texture problems are me not knowing what to use and where to use it.  the ceiling texture bars however were fully done on purpose. Case of not everything is what it seems. I'm pretty sure if you use a texture for somewhere else in juust the right spot, it can pass for something else and I'm pretty sure party ball was over Atomic fire. I felt crash bomb was more valueable than A.fire but clearly it's not. sorry on that one.
Roz was talking about the music size BTW not the map size.
Thank you however

[fortegigasgospel]

I'm just gonna post pictures of stuff that erks me here

(click to show/hide)

Skybox should at least be using the animated version. I don't have the green cause software, perhaps make a second sector behind the flame and just have the flame up top.

(click to show/hide)

Bottom of the crusher should be the texture you are using as a floor, not AstroB textures.

(click to show/hide)

Crusher texture used as floor.

(click to show/hide)

Why is this texture here?

(click to show/hide)

Mis-alignment.

(click to show/hide)

Like Rozark said about this texture

(click to show/hide)

This entire section should have a save walk way across, also Crash Bomb shouldn't be harder to get then Atomic Fire, also don't put party balls over items.

(click to show/hide)

Wrong texture

(click to show/hide)

The walls are being used as if there would be a black ceiling there, but there is skybox.

This map is supposed to be DUSTMI, but it just doesn't feel Dust MI to me.

Also, like Rozark said about the size, this map is bigger then DOSBETA by almost 3 times.

Most texture problems are me not knowing what to use and where to use it.  the ceiling texture bars however were fully done on purpose. Case of not everything is what it seems. I'm pretty sure if you use a texture for somewhere else in juust the right spot, it can pass for something else and I'm pretty sure party ball was over Atomic fire. I felt crash bomb was more valueable than A.fire but clearly it's not. sorry on that one.
Roz was talking about the music size BTW not the map size.
Thank you however

btw map size I mean the whole file, cause of the music.  Also that bar on the ceiling, doesn't fit in at all. The colors clash completely.