Now That's What I Call Cutstuff Christmas: 24

[Korby]

MERRY CHRISTMAS HAVE SOME CANDY

CLICK THIS FANCY IMAGE TO DOWNLOAD THE THING

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF GEE, I WONDER WHAT IT'D SOUND LIKE IF I HEARD KING DUMB SING ABOUT WHINING ABOUT THINGS? WELL HERE'S YOUR CHANCE! BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO UNVEIL SOMETHING SPECTACULARly terrible[/b].

WARNING: Arguably Not Safe For Beed28, as he's allergic to voices or something like that. Also, none of us are professional singers so there's that. Also, here be banjos.

In light of Llama not wanting to do a Holiday Expansion this year, I took the opportunity to organize something much, much sillier.
Enter at your peril; Past this download link, impossible things will happen that Cutstuff's never seen before!
Welcome to the horrifying pleasure of...
NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL CUTSTUFF CHRISTMAS: 24!


On this spine chilling "CD," 5 pleasant parodies - poems put to pretty pieces - patrol!
In order, the track list goes something like
1. It's Beginning to Look a lot like Dueling (sung by Korby)
Lyrics:

(click to show/hide)

It's beginning to look a lot like FLASH MAN
Pharaoh Shot is here
It's the only weapon you will use
To make the other person lose
With fire balls instill in them much fear

It's beginning to look a lot like COSSACK
Duelists love this map
And the wittiest thing to bring
Is a weapon that shoots rings
To fifty that chap

A pair of Tournament Games and a Bik that is tame
is the wish of KD and Shade
A cat that goes meow and makes you say ow
Is the hope of Mickle and Rave
And Mike and Mess can hardly wait
For duel to go away

It's beginning to look a lot like DIVE MAN
Water maps are crap
There's a whale with R N G
It's not very hard to see
Why we wait for KD to hit nextmap

It's beginning to look a lot like PHARAOH
GUESS WHAT WEAPON'S HERE
Maps that have it get renamed
So they end with P H A
Nerfs might come next year

It's beginning to look a lot like DUELING
Camp the power weps
And spam them until they cry
Unless you're dueling Fy
And you're getting swept.

2. Little Dick Kick'em (sung by SmashBro)
Lyrics:

(click to show/hide)

Once upon a time (ba-rump rump roast rump)
Dick Kickem was his name (ba-rump rump roast rump)
On that most blessed day (ba-rump rump roast rump)
The best food he brought us (ba-rump rump roast rump)
(rump rump roast rump) (rump rump roast rump)

Cooked to perfection (ba-rump rump roast rump)
It was roast rump

We were all starved (ba-rump rump roast rump)
There was nothing to eat (ba-rump rump roast rump)
It was below freezing (ba-rump rump roast rump)
And then he came along (ba-rump rump roast rump)
(rump rump roast rump) (rump rump roast rump)

He had his own plates (ba-rump rump roast rump)
And silverware

Well seasoned (ba-rump rump roast rump)
Made with all the trimmings (ba-rump rump roast rump)
We all had full stomachs (ba-rump rump roast rump)
We feasted on that day (ba-rump rump roast rump)
(rump rump roast rump) (rump rump roast rump)

Then he got up and (ba-rump rump roast rump)
Walked out the door.

3. All I Want for Christmas is Nerfs (sung by King Dumb)
Lyrics:

(click to show/hide)

I don't want a lot for Christmas
Just a few small things I need
I don't care about the people
Who dare to disagree with me

I just want to play on Flash
But Pharaoh Shot turns me to ash
Make this weapon worse
All I want for Christmas
Is nerfs.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
Just a few small things I need
I don't care about the new skins
They’re just Mega Man to me

I don't need many new classes
Just get Punk out of my face
V8A will make me happy
With a nerf to Wily’s chase

I don’t want to play on Dust
When using Rings is such a must
Make this weapon worse
All I want for Christmas is nerfs
Nerfs, Nerfs Korby.

Oh, I won't ask for buffs this Christmas
Fire Storm is not as bad
As when I just keep getting OHKO’d
Atomic Fire makes me mad

I will make a list and send it
Of each class that is OP
Oil Man will top it and
Magma will be number three

'Cause I just want to play on Air
But homing is just so unfair
This dev team is the worst
Korby all I want for Christmas is nerfs,
Nerfs, Korby

Oh, all the Centaurs flashing
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of Noise Crush
Charging fills the air.

And everyone starts running
When they see those Flash Men coming
Korby, won't you bring me the nerf I really need?
Won't you nerf his AoE for me?

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
Just some nerfs, and then some more
I just want to see Gravity
Nerfed until he hits the floor.

Oh, I just want to play on Star
But Astro Crush gives mental scars
Make this weapon worse
Korby all I want for Christmas is
Nerfs, Korby.

All I want for Christmas is nerfs, Korby
All I want for Christmas is nerfs, Korby
All I want for Christmas is nerfs, Korby
All I want for Christmas is nerfs, Korby

4. Rui Got Run Over by a Scorch Wheel (sung by Shina-K)
Lyrics:

(click to show/hide)

(sung in Kapus' point of view)

Rui got run over by a Scorch Wheel,
Walking home from our duel, Christmas Eve

You may think Nos is not great at aiming,
But as for me and Yuri, we disagree.

Rui drank too much coffee,
And we begged him not to duel,

But he forgot to turn his mouse on,
And he staggered straight into the flaming fuel,

When we found him Christmas morning,
Playing on the cold hard floor,

He had burn marks on his forehead!
And incriminating Nos frags on the score.

Rui got run over by a Scorch Wheel,
Walking home from our duel, Christmas Eve

You may think Nos is not great at aiming,
But as for me and Yuri, we disagree.

Now we're all so proud of Yuri,
She's been taking this smoothly,
See her playing Fatal Fury, drinking soup and playing games with sweet Molly

It's not Christmas without Rui,
Even Bikdark's dressed in black,
And we just can't help but wonder,
Should we send him games on Steam, or take them back.

Rui got run over by a Scorch Wheel,
Walking home from our duel, Christmas Eve

You may think Nos is not great at aiming,
But as for me and Yuri, we disagree.

Now the map just changed to Burner,
And the jolly music played,
And the nice petals along the way,
That would have matched the flowers on Rui's sweaters,

I've warned all my friends and neighbors,
You better watch out for yourselves!

They should not give Nos a weapon,
'Cause he will read your actions,
And make you run,

Rui got run over by a Scorch Wheel,
Walking home from our duel, Christmas Eve

You may think Nos is not great at aiming,
But as for me and Yuri, we disagree.

5. 12 Days of Doomseeker (sung by Blathers and Korby)
Lyrics:

(click to show/hide)

On the first day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the second day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the third day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the fourth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the fifth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the sixth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the seventh day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the eighth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Eighth place in line,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the ninth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Nine broken add-ons,
Eighth place in line,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the tenth day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Ten scrubs ragequitting,
Nine broken add-ons,
Eighth place in line,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Eleven chat bind spammers,
Ten scrubs ragequitting,
Nine broken add-ons,
Eighth place in line,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

On the twelfth of Christmas
Doomseeker gave to me,
Twelve empty servers,
Eleven chat bind spammers,
Ten scrubs ragequitting,
Nine broken add-ons,
Eighth place in line,
Seven unplayed game modes,
Six gentle roleplays,
FIVE-OH’D IN DUEL,
Four classes mods,
Three v three,
Two Duel servers,
and The Rush's Holiday Game.

DISCLAIMER: The Cutopian Men's Choir (and Shina) takes no responsibility for any possible injury acquired whilst listening to the songs on NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL CUTSTUFF CHRISTMAS: 24. We are aware that a Choir is generally more than five people, and usually sings at the same time. We don't particularly care, either. For an actual legal thing, this totally falls under parody law, right? We're not all about to get sued by Santa, are we? Also yes we know that both the singers on the 12 days of Doomseeker consistently mess up on #10. It's surprisingly hard to sing correctly. That aside, the songs do not necessarily reflect the views of its vocalist(s) or writer(s). All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental :^)

If you somehow managed to miss it here's the download link again.

[King Dumb]

I'm KD and I approve of this album.

Also special thanks to Michael, Rave, Rui, and whoever else helped with lyrics!

[Russel]

KD's singing voice is the most amazing thing.
10/10 would buy.

[Smunch]

This is phenomenal.  I wasn't ready for this to exist, but it's beautiful.

[Bikdark]

Even Bikdark's dressed in black,

implying i wear anything else :^)

[Rui]

Oohhh gosh, writing the lyrics on #4 was a lot of fun ~

Thanks to Korby and KD for giving me the proper criticisms and letting me know which parts to rewrite !!! (?????)


I hope you guys are enjoying the album!!

[Zero1000]

The download links don't work on my phone. Do they work on other device?

[The Rush]

It's a masterpiece, pop the champagne!
I thoroughly enjoyed the last one, it definitely brought a big smile to my face