Hello everyone, and welcome to The Oshiro Zone. Please, take off your hats when you come through the door.
What is this, you ask? Simply put, this is a spin-off side story meant to accompany your regularly scheduled Cutstuff War broadcast. While EK is out and about bringing you the action you thirst for, I'm here to calm everyone down with a bit of humor at the end of the day. Now I know what you're thinking, "ANOTHER spin-off? Oh boy, here we go..." and that's understandable. We had a few... well, "spin-offs" in the past, and without dragging this out let's just say they sucked beyond human comprehension. Unlike the previous failures, though, this story is 100% grain-fed all American beef, stamped with Epic Kirby's seal of approval.
My story is canon; this means that the only characters you'll see here are ones that have been given the greenlight for the Cutstuff War. This works both ways as well; not only can you not send in new characters, but I can't add any of my own either. Yeah, no sniper Ivory with a medipak here guys. (Well, unless he/she/it/xe/wartortle really wants to...)
Take note of the title as well. It's named "The Oshiro Zone" for a reason. Yes, this story will be focusing on everyone's favorite crazy hyped-up doctor and his small ragtag team of assistants. I'll try to incorporate other character's actions from time to time, but for the most part you're stuck with the lovable doofus.
Well, I think I got everything out of the way for the most part. Similar to Epic Kirby, this story will also be split apart into segments, though instead of Rounds I'll be going by Chapters. The first Chapter will be put up here, with future Chapters being linked in this post for space reasons. You know, that pesky maximum character limit and what not.
Anyway, please enjoy the story!
Chapter 01a (Prologue)
Chapter 01a
4th Conflict – Turning Lane
“Umm... Dr. Oshiro?”
“Yes?”
“How much farther do we have to go?”
“Oh, we're almost there. Don't worry.”
The red truck zoomed down the abandoned highway.
“Umm... Dr. Oshiro?”
“Yes?”
“Why do we have to go out here?”
“I already explained that, didn't I?”
“Yeah, but--”
“Don't worry. EK's an old friend.”
“Alright then...”
An ignored sign post. 55 MPH covered by overgrown vines.
“Umm... Dr. Oshiro?”
“Yes?”
“Why did we have to take the truck?”
“Because the flying fortress would be too noticeable.”
“Oh.”
Thick forest slowly reverting into grassy plains.
“Umm... Dr. Oshiro?”
“Yes?”
“Is there a reason we can't be noticed?”
“Not particularly. I'm just taking precautions.”
“Precautions for what?”
“Well... in case we see her.”
The truck started to decelerate. Fences appeared at the sides of the road.
“Umm... Dr. Oshiro?”
“Yes?”
“How did you meet this EK guy?”
“Robotics convention. It's a long story.”
“Alright...”
A young man in a hood. A green spherical figure. And... a girl.
“Well... this is it.”
“This is what?”
“Our new temporary base of operations. We'll be here for a while.”
“So this is home, then?”
“No, not exactly... you can call it The Oshiro Zone.”
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The green sphere waved and smiled at the two. “Cool, you made it.”
“Yeah, you wouldn't BELIEVE the traffic getting here,” Oshiro laughed.
“Did you bring it with you?” the ball-shaped creature asked.
“Sure did,” Oshiro said. “Smash Man, would you go and get the teleporter from the truck?”
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The teleporter capsule hit the floor with a solid THUD.
“Well, that should be good enough,” Smash Man said. “I'm sure they won't mind connecting it to the computer themselves.
As he made his way back through the hallway, the girl from earlier suddenly ran by and shoved him into the wall.
“Hey!” Smash Man pushed himself off the wall. “Watch where you're going!”
The girl stopped for a second and partially turned her head in Smash Man's direction.
“I don't have time for this...”
She took off down the hallway without wasting another second.
“Wait!” Smash Man yelled, but it was too late. She was gone. “Geez, some people have NO respect around here,” he muttered as he brushed off his chest plate.
Chapter 01b
Chapter 01b
4th Conflict – Next Question
Smash Man walked into the dimly-lit conference room. At the end of the oval table sat Dr. Oshiro, with his back to a large monitor fixed to the wall. To his left was the mysterious hooded man from earlier that day. He appeared to be in his late teens and had a flame crest on the back of his right hand. His cloak was dark red like volcanic ash, and his short spiked hair was as black as a bottomless pit. To the left of the man, there sat a mustachioed gentleman sporting a monocle and top hat. His tan overcoat was paired rather nicely with burgundy pants and a mahogany cane. To his left, what appeared as a sphere with appendages and a face was standing in the chair at the other end of the table. Amusingly, it was wearing a top hat similar to the one the old man was wearing. The remaining two seats were empty, though the one to the left of the circular entity held a small stack of papers.
“Hey Smash Man, you're finally here. Grab a seat, will you?” The good doctor motioned to the vacant position to his right.
Smash Man walked over to the table and sat in the chair, next to Dr. Oshiro and to the left of the chair with the papers in it.
The green being spoke up. “We're all here, right?”
“Not exactly,” the gentleman said. “Miss Alaron is away answering a distress signal, wot wot.”
“Well...” the boy said. “Most of us are here, and I'm sure she can catch up later.”
“Right then, let's begin the meeting,” the doctor announced.
The screen behind Dr. Oshiro lit up with images of a broken city. Injured soldiers. Scraps of junked robots. Scorched streets. Buildings ripped apart.
Dr. Oshiro cleared his throat and began to speak.
“As you are all aware of by now, I had the unfortunate displeasure of witnessing these tragic events first hand. What I had thought to be a simple battle tournament ended up turning out to be an evil scheme set up by a secret organization, aimed at taking over our dimension. Right now I'm still not sure what their plans are or what they mean to accomplish, but we can assume they are a dangerous enemy not to be taken lightly.”
“Lucky for me I managed to find a few allies, and we set up a base in the old Chaos Theatre. One member of our group, an Elena Ampere – remember this name, as it is the name of PURE EVIL – she defected and was revealed to be a traitor to the cause. Because of her, Sequence Man was destroyed... and reduced to this.”
Dr. Oshiro retrieved a small zip-sealed bag from his coat pocket, containing several fragments of what appeared to be some sort of gemstone. The pieces' reflective yellow surfaces gleamed in the monitor's light.
“I was able to run a few tests, and it seems that Sequence Man was supercompressed into this dense stone, which was then brutally crushed into bits. Unfortunately, I'm unable to retrieve his Master AI, so he's out of commission for a while...”
He passed the stone's parts to the boy, who held it up and looked it over in his marked hand. The boy then passed Sequence Man's remains to the monocled old man, who eyed it curiously.
“As of today, our mission is to discover this secretive organization's plans and put a stop to them, whatever they may be – and to take down the fiend known as Elena Ampere once and for all. You all knew this would be a risky mission when you came here, but I'm offering you one last chance... if you haven't the appetite for a steaming plate of justice, then the door's down the hall and to the left.”
Dr. Oshiro took a pause. Nobody rose from their seats.
By this time, the fragmented gem had made its way to Smash Man. He simply handed it back to the doctor without giving it so much as a passing glance.
“Okay then, from this moment on you are part of the team. For now, this lab will be headquarters, so to speak. In a moment I'll give you all transceivers and Exit Units, so you can remain in contact with the base at all times. Now, are there any questions?”
“Yeah, who made you the damn leader?” the boy gritted.
“Hah hah,” laughed Oshiro. “I don't think that's very nice to say to your old mentor, now is it? Chill out a little, hey?”
The boy glared at the doctor.
“Okay, next question?”
Smash Man raised his hand. “How did you manage to remain serious for so long?”
“That's not funny,” Oshiro quipped. “Next question?”
“We talked about the organization, but...” The round guy trailed off. “I mean, I can understand you wanting revenge, but Elena's not really a primary target...”
“Of course she is!” the doctor grinned. “If it wasn't for her things wouldn't have gotten this bad to begin with!”
Oshiro slammed his palms on the table, and instantly his bright expression snapped to a menacing stare. “I want to see her SUFFER damn it.”
Raising up from the table, the doctor asked “Next question?” with a cheery smile.
Chapter 01c
Chapter 01c
4th Conflict – Epic Kirby HELL YEAH!
At the end of the meeting, Dr. Oshiro had left to configure the Exit Units to direct users to the base. The monocled old man left, but went through a different exit. Looking around the room, Smash Man decided to try and get acquainted with his new allies. He approached the talking orb with the hat first; Smash Man figured he must be important since he was positioned at one of the table's ends.
“Uh, hey there,” he said, extending his arm. “I'm Smash Man.”
“Yeah, I've heard a ton about you,” the green ball guy said. “My name's Epic Kirby.”
“Epic Kirby...” Smash Man repeated. “Oh! You must be that 'EK' Dr. Oshiro was mentioning.”
“The one and only,” Epic Kirby answered. “I'm the one that called you out here. This place used to be an abandoned microchip factory, but I fixed it up and turned it into this neat headquarters. Not bad, right? It's even got a lakeside view!”
“It's very clean and orderly, to say the least,” Smash Man said nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck, adding “I gotta say, it won't last long with the doc around.”
He took a quick glance around the room and remembered the cloaked figure. “Oh, do you mind showing me around?”
“Not a problem,” Epic Kirby said. “Hey, that over there's Human Destroyer, but we just call him 'HD'. He's a pyromancer-in-training.”
The boy glanced at EK and Smash Man, gave a scoff, and walked out.
“You know...” Epic Kirby leaned close to Smash Man and whispered. “He's usually a lot nicer than this. I don't know why he's got a stick up his ass today, though.”
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The two walked down a corridor, stopping at an open doorway. Inside the room was the gentleman from before, though his hat was in his hand instead of atop his head. The old man gave the hat a quick tap!-tap! with his cane, and before anyone could realize it an entire computer (hard drive, keyboard, and all) flew out and neatly landed on a nearby desk. Smash Man stood in shock, while Epic Kirby just chuckled.
“Yeah, that's Horby for ya,” EK noted. “He's a little on the 'totally bonkers' side, but that hat of his? He can make anything he wants come out of it. Doesn't matter how big or small it is, or how outrageously hard it is to find.”
“That's... awesome...” Smash Man muttered, still in amazement.
EK rubbed the area where a normal person might have had a chin. “Though, there are a couple rules. See, he can't create new objects. Whatever he's summoning has to be a real thing. Oh, and at least one of that item has to exist somewhere in the world. Like, he couldn't pop out a Triceratops and start riding it around... and sometimes, he doesn't get what he wants to come out of the hat. It's like something else is deciding what the hat makes.”
“Maybe the hat's got some sorta enchantment on it?” Smash Man asked.
“Nah,” EK said. “I already took a look. It's just an ordinary hat. A rather nice one, but it's still just a hat.”
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The two reached the server room, where Dr. Oshiro was finishing connecting the teleporter capsule. As he plugged in the last few cables, the teleporter lit up with a whirr.
“Well, that's pretty much it,” Epic Kirby said. “Remember, if you need more help then don't be afraid to ask.”
“Thanks,” Smash Man said.
Epic Kirby approached the doctor, who was now seated in front of the master computer. “Alright doc, I need you to get this teleporter functioning. There's a place I wanna check out.”
“Alrighty then.” Dr. Oshiro gave a thumbs up. “This might take a while, so you should probably give me the coordinates right now, so I have something to work with.”
“Fine by me,” Epic Kirby said. “Just give me a minute to write it down.”
EK and Oshiro both sat down at the desk and got straight to work.
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