Cutstuff Mafia Dinner Theater [Smash Still Worst]

[Hallan Parva]

B.F.U.
G
BIG FUCKING UPDATE

READ IT HERE




so this is a SmashBro mafia and it doesn't have all the gimmicks you have known and loved in SmashBro mafia


here is a story blurb

(click to show/hide)

"I have something to tell you..."

It was a typical afternoon at The White Cutter. The usual lunch rush was present for the bistro's specialty sandwiches, the likes of which were well known and loved across the entire island. Cheeseburgers, grilled fish, chicken panini, porkchop sliders... if it went between two pieces of bread at some point in time, there is a good chance that you can order it at The White Cutter, and it'll be the best damn sandwich of your life.

"I... I..."

Seated at one particular table was a young man of about twenty. His black eyes trembled, struggling to maintain eye contact with his companion. He flustered about, struggling for words as his right hand shuffled through his dark brown hair. His gray overcoat did a splendid job of concealing the coffee stain from the morning's frantic rush to be on time for his lunch date, but it was useless in hiding his nervousness. Most of this was due to his companion, a lovely lady around the same age who was completely clad in green. Green shirt, green slacks, dark green cardigan, and a green beret perched crookedly on her long blonde hair.

"... I LOVE YOU, IVORY!!"

The man immediately bowed as if he was in some crazy Japanese anime. Ivory sat in her chair, completely stunned by the man's words. She took a deep breath, then pouted before getting up from the chair. The man looked up as she walked over to him, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Look, Joseph... you're a nice guy, you really are... but..."

At that moment, an explosion came from the front doors. Smoke billowed into the restaurant in all directions as a shadowy figure dashed right past Ivory and clung to the wall. Someone in a ninja outfit had Joseph pinned to the wall, holding a serrated dagger at his neck.

The ninja yelled out to Ivory. "Do as I say or your boyfriend's a goner!"
"He's not my boyfriend!" Ivory yelled back. "I don't even know him that well!"
"SILENCE!!" The ninja brought the knife up to Joseph's skin. "Now give up the key, woman!"
Ivory was confused. "What key!?"
"SHADDAP SHADDAP SHADDAP!!! Don't play dumb! I'll slice him to bits!"

"KIIIIIIIIICK!"

Crashing through the windows, a man in robes lunges at the ninja with a diving kick. In a single strike, the ninja was beaned in the face before he could realize what was going on. The dagger clanked against the tile floor. In a panic, Joseph got up and took off in a flash.

"Tch..." Ivory looked up from the ninja to the robed man. "How long were you standing outside of that window, Korby?"
"LONG ENOUGH!" Korby grinned. "I heard EVERYTHING and understood NOTHING!"

The ninja coughed. "Heh... you fools... trusted with the safety of... ugh!"

Ivory walked back to the ninja. "Thanks for reminding me," she said as she stomped her foot on his back. "What do you want?"
"I don't... ugh... require anything... !!" The ninja cracked a smile. The edges of his mouth were stained with blood. "The keys will be found... our master... revived!! Ahahahaha!!"
Ivory frowned and turned to Korby. "What is he laughing about? What a loony..."
Korby noticed a gleam of light from the ninja's belt. His eyes widened.

"Well, shi--"






Within minutes, the area was swarming with police units. They had responded to a call alerting of multiple explosions at The White Cutter. Half of the building was completely torn apart, collapsed into rubble. No patrons or employees were injured, though a male body was discovered in the wreckage, nearly ripped in half from what appeared to be explosion damage.

The man was later identified as Bikdark.

here is a rules

Everything here is parody and you will probably become slightly offended during the course of the game. It's all in good fun so put on your best sportsmanship face and laugh with the rest of us. Unless you had to pawn your sportsmanship face for food, in which case wear your Ghastly Gibus instead.
You can't play as yourself. In the event that Random.org is a butt and gives someone a role that corresponds to their existence in the parody mafia world, I will just have to keep punching Random.org in the face until it stops being a butt.
It is mandatory that Cold Fusion participates in this mafia.
If your name is WheelieCarbonate you will be removed from play. Think of this like Yu-Gi-Oh! or Magic: The Gathering, in where a dead player can be revived, but someone removed from play is just wiped from existence.
Roles will not be sent out until Saturday the 31st at the very earliest. I don't care if this fills up in less than 10 minutes, I have real life obligations to take care of.
I reserve the right to kick you in the e-peen. And by "damage the digital dong" I mean "not let you sign up".

here is an audio tutorial if you want to learn how to mafia


and here is a waiting list for death row

Caleb "Cold Fusion" Felderson
Korby "Magic Hands" Chocoborby
Sir Legou Fahn XX of Castle Boyoyon
Tyler Perry's House of Raveman
Jax "Merasmus! My PAINIS!" Sevens Smothered by folding chairs! (Playing as Rozark Kyouko)
"Here, have an" OrangeMario Couldn't clear Garbage Mode! (Playing as Tradley Destrol)
Dark "I'm not Lament" Aura Ragequit due to Townies failing it! (Playing as Alice)
Karp "Choice Robotic Ass" McFreezie
Shade Guy, Imeprial Czar of Mapping Roasted to a crisp... ? (Playing as Hilbert Mann)
"I thought you were Aetria Overclocked" Accel Went insane! (Playing as Barlowe)
Alice "Not Into Bondage" Starfield Mod-killed for role revealing! (Playing as Obelisk)
LlamaHombre, Battle Brothers Vanguard
Chaos "Shadow Misdreavus" Fantasy
"Is that Jelly World or are you happy to see me?" Beed28
Hilman "What is the call doing? How about now?" 170499
Zerokk Ceridran, the Cobalt Defender
"Does anyone know this guy?" ThePlayer
Rozark "Raise Your Hand" Kyouko
Tengu and Tango Fandango Banang Roasted to a NINJA crisp! (Playing as LlamaHombre)
Max "Yellow Devil" Hardings
Balrog "50 Shades of Saxton Hale" Garfield Roasted to a crisp! (Playing as Katie Doulahan)
Watzup7856 "Home of the Peppered Asscheeks" Flipped by Alice! (Playing as Joseph Collins)
Kenneth K. Koru, Attorney at Law PAWNCHed by the town! (Playing as Shade Guy)
Captain Barlowe of the Cutopian Province of S'kyp Voted out very anticlimactically! (Playing as JaxOf7)
Hubert the Ice Jelly Mistaken for Lament! (Playing as Kenkoru)
Obelisk, the Eternal Tormentor of Duel
That Manray Over There
Spikeboy "Nintendo Filters My Name" Kidd Brought back into the game! (Playing as Kapus and Unknown Character)
Galaxy "What is a Glazty, anyway?" Sisbro
Magnet "Gameboy Charge Star" Dood
King Charles Sebastian Dumb of Castle Tomohollo
Galactan "Waruigi Time" McFalcon
Thunder "I Have a Voltedge" Electros
Laggy "Man of a Million Deaths" Blazko Bricks were his million and first death! (Playing as Korby)
Stardroid Venus McWeenus Banang
Signupballtoid
Commander Ivy White of the Cutopian Guard 5th Batallion
Tradley Destrol, Private Investigator ThunderPunch was super-effective! (Playing as TGOT)
Kirby "TRANSFORM INTO X-MAN!!!!!" Sonic
Alex "Breaking Butt" Mendez Surrendered to his fate! (Playing as mr.shadow)

Cutstuff Townies: 14
Cutopian Guards: 4
CrackHack Members: 7
Neutral Players: 3

[Korby]

hello there I am signing up for this and hopefully I'll have enough time

[Russel]

Just because of the sheer shenanigans incoming, I will sign up for this.

[Super Raveman]

I'll do a thing I guess.

[JaxOf7]

Cutstuff theme is my favorite theme.
Joining, I suppose.

[OrangeMario]

My avatar demands to be in!

[DarkAura]

The one thing I remember The White Cutter was good at was giving you a case of the "sliders"

*rimshot*

+IN

[Magikarp]

*slams book on table*

count me in losers

[Shade Guy]

Parodical, meta and potentially offensive content? I approve.

Now watch as my pride is wounded when I find out I'm not important enough to have a role based on me.

[Accel]

I'm already in two other games, but why not?
/in

[*Alice]

Hi there!
/join

[LlamaHombre]

Bikdark pls go

I'll sign up though that seems fun

[CHAOS_FANTAZY]

Sure, why not?

The name's Caleb Fantaozi by the way

[Beed28]

I'll sign up. 28 times.

[Hilman170499]

+Signup
I'll take the offence, LIKE A MAN! Plus I can redeem missing a few past Mafias by applying here.