You have been warned.
Undertale is an Earthbound hack mildly inspired by Shin Megami Tensei with a dash of SHMUP or WarioWare dipped in furry shit and rolled up with unfunny memes and Tumblr level humor.
Undertale is not that great. Maybe not even decent. Perhaps, dare I say, it's shit.
Toby Fox truly never let go of his roots on this adventure; because this one's just a really gimmicky Earthbound hack with hippies all over the walls.
First encounter we have a little shithead flower who tells us "that's not your level, that's LOVE (all caps at all times.)" and "run into these totally not bullets to increase your LOVE." Naturally, you're dropped to 1 HP and now he surrounds you with rings because it turns out he is a psychopath! (wow edgy) He's the villain of this story.
Or not. Either way, you're forced into the following exchange;
So Dora the Suicidal Explorer about to die because you ran into a bullet like an idiot or was GM fiated because you avoided the bullets and the bullets are about to close in and end Dora The Very Neutral Explorer's life when BOOSH! FIRE! moves the flower out of the way. The one who saved Dora the Traumatized Explorer? TORIEL THE FURFAGGOT toby put his mom in the game but she's a FURRY.
Now Dora the Comatose Explorer is helped through the ruins by TORIEL (haha get it because she's a living tutorial) because it's too fucking retarded to figure anything out on its own.
Oh look, a dummy! This is an introduction to the battle system, where you can choose LOSE, ITEM, SOLVE and WIN.
The cursor starts on LOSE because it's based on a RPG and all good RPGs start on the attack button.
This battle is pointless, because no matter what you do, whether it's butchering, talking or FLYING AWAY OMG SO RANDOM XDXDXD, nothing really changes besides the response of the Tutorial NPC.
So Dora the Ruins Explorer helped some more, goes through pointless events and obtains a phone after getting ditched, gets called an asshole by the text box for robbing candy and solves some puzzles and ends up at a house.
This house is pretty comfy, or it would be if it wasn't for all this FUR! FURFAGGOT GREETS YOU ONCE MORE AND GREETS YOU AND TELLS YOU TO GO TO SLEEP THEN WE GET UP IN THE MORNING GET HOMESCHOOLED GO TO SLEEP DON'T WORRY ABOUT GOING HOME LITTLE DORA.
Disobey the Tutorial, because that's the only opportunity you get. But first, go the fuck to sleep to get the best healing item in the game. So Dora the Explorer who disobeys parents walk along, giving no two shits about the tutorial telling it "head back pls" as it trails behind her. Eventually, they end up at the door. You're gonna go through one of the lamest tests you could ever go through. This is the first boss.
Wanna know a secret trick? Press the WIN button over and over in order to win. How subtle.
You can't die without trying to in this battle, either, because there's a pattern that kicks in when you're almost dead that involves bullets that can't hit you.
So Dora the Very Uncomfortable Explorer trips some flags or something and gets a hug or not and passes through one of the only important looking doors that look like they'll appear later but don't, gets a response from main villain based on what flags it tripped, then moves on into a very slippery place.
ICE LAND! No, it's just Snowdin. Haha, get it? SNOWED IN! So Dora the Explorer of Subterranean Habitats walks by the trees while being trailed by a most sinister figure. Tripping on some unavoidable sticks, it ends up at a bridge. The figure tells them to turn around, holds out their hand for a hand-shake and gives Dora the Internet Explorer the classic whoopie cushion trick.
Welcome to the rest of the game.
So after going through a series of bone puns and WACKY HIJINKS with the OH SO RANDOM comedy duo of Wario and Waluigi SANS AND PAPYRuS BECAUSE YOU KNOW FONTS YEAH HOW CLEVER LOOK AT ALL THE SYMBOLISM, Dora the Deviantart Explorer end up in the town of Snowdin, finally. Welcome to a furfags heaven and a sane mans hell. There's furries everywhere. Any sane man would've turned off the game by now, but this isn't a world for sane men.
So Dora the Explorer of Furaffinity presses on, doing whatever it is that they have to do. Eventually, it enters a strange area that gets foggier the further in they get. Then you see a silhouette of a certain familiar skeleton.
Here we go. The second boss fight. It's braindead easy until the gimmick kicks in. Wanna know what the gimmick is?
Platforming. Neat, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Wanna know what's also neat? You can skip this boss fight by sucking too much. You don't game over when you lose to him. Rather, Dora the Doghouse Explorer trips a flag and end up in a very-easy-to-escape from prison, with associated RANDUMB-ness.
actually fuck it it's taking up too much of my time writing this
i just don't like it okay?
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