My overall general opinion of 8BDM has lowered in the more recent years due to several things that have been eating at me. Mostly the general attitude of individuals within the Dev team (whom will remain nameless) and the community as a whole.
I'll make it as clear as day for my reasons:
I'm going through a lot of medical problems and mental stress. The idea of being on-top of a development with MM8BDM has always been an insane idea, but I try to do what I can in order to really get things done. However since December 2014, I've been suffering from terrible stress and overall getting sick from doing things with mapping or just general spriting. I've done a few things in the past couple of months, but it's on short bursts that I have.
Drama within the Mega Man community has also brought negative connotations and overall a general feeling against the attitude of wanting to be a part of this fanbase or working under a fangame. It also mostly comes from the fact that I joined too many projects and was even focusing alone on my own project that I've been working on for the past eight years as of yesterday. Another reason is due to my declining mood with the fanbase as a whole when I got shanghai'd into needless drama when a certain individual attacked another MM-fanbase associated forum and site. You may already know what this incident was, for the few aware.
I've been focusing on entering a career in Voice Work, mostly because it's a profession that I've been wanting to take on ever since I was a child. So vocal warmups have been taking over my time to actually work on something relating to a project or two. A sub reason is also laziness and general avoidance of work on the game due to how I felt and because of other things that are beyond my control.
I'm getting old. I'm going to be 21 and I've wasted nearly six years of my life playing and eventually working on this game. I've got to move on from this sooner or later...
EDIT (forgot to add): It pains me to see the community evolve the way it did and it has affected me more in the past few years after a radical shift in attitude. I was never part of any cliques, since I feel being part of an overtly private group of individuals used to shitpost or complain about certain people is kind of a shitty aspect, pot-calling kettle black otherwise. Some people however, aren't all that bad and I'll say nothing more beyond that.
Which brings me to the major reason I'm here today, outside of the whole general feeling or attitude towards the Dev team that I'm remaining neutral on for reasons I will not say in public:
I'm officially leaving Cutstuff, 8BDM, and any Mega Man associated fan-site when v5 is completed...also in light of my recent health being as poor as it is, along with focusing on getting into the career I want to pursue. I've taken my time the past few months to really reflect on how horrifyingly contrite the past four or so years have been on me. I cannot say much else beyond what has been said about Mega Man, this game, and various other forums other than my general blunt attitude towards recent events.
I'm going to reveal that my raison d'etere for leaving 8BDM came when I was working on Galaxyman for the short (or long) time attempting to do the layout. I nearly fainted after 36 hours of attempting to do a layout for the map and it was driving me to the point of a workaholic, perfectionistic attitude due to the schedule I had to meet with the deadline that was needing to be met. I did what I could and passed it over to Gospel.
Then, I went to the hospital for nearly 32 hours because of how mentally exhausted my body got from working. So I've been pretty (for lack of a better word)
fucked with my recent sleep schedule being absolute shit. I've also been struggling with being a super senior in High School and recently had to drop out due to
my stress putting me into panic attacks that also began to cause me to stop functioning in school work alone. In light of this, I am getting a General Education Diploma (G.E.D.) because of my recent three months.
I know I said this many times before, but I'm actually kind of serious given that I've been in and out of medical stuff the past three months that has finally lead me to make the decision to finally post this whole rant out to the people, because you ought to know how much I feel (even if you don't want to read it, that's fine.)
I'm glad I got to meet the lot of you on here, along with the people I've been given the opportunity to work alongside with in the Dev team. I can only wish you all lead successful lives and stay safe in this crazy world, ya know? I may have had my times where I was kicked around by the community, even hated if at that, but that didn't bother me to try and grit the pain both emotionally and mentally that some people have given me.
I admit that only once has the community nearly driven me to literal suicide and that ain't cool. There's a fine line in being an elitist and an overall jackass towards newbies or people who are trying to find their places. It might help for them to need the tough love to just evolve, but it should never lead to petty insults or a general case of bullying. I did some bad things in private and in public in this game. I live with that guilt on my conscious and I will never live it down for what I've done.
In conclusion, I've said what I needed to say and it's finally a relief to tell this off of my chest. Take it to heart that not everyone should live their lives on this or any fan game, there's always another project or story to be written. Focus on what's important over the menial things at hand that you're given, there's more to life than rushing to play, mod, or work on a fangame, you know?
Anyways, I've got things to do. Thanks for listening and everything dudes, take care.
"The journey never ends on this wild train. Keep the good and bad in mind and move on, stay strong, and live life."
EDIT: Thanks for the support guys. I truly appreciate it.
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