Ruin-A-Wish

[JohnVyttalRay]

Granted, but you're dumb and lacking knowledge for your college.

I wish I wasn't doing this.

[Upsilon]

Granted! However, you're a murderer instead.

I wish for the Nile River.  (Aladdin refrence)

[Cyclo]

(click to show/hide)

You actually get the Nile, rather than being refused!
It's in your home! It actually flooded your home. Have fun!

I wish to be off of this timeline.

[GameAndWatcher]

Granted: You're thrown into an even worse timeline!

I wish to save this wish for later.

[Cyclo]

(click to show/hide)

Granted! Make a new wish.

I wish for nothing.

[GameAndWatcher]

Granted: Everything you currently own is gone.

I wish wasn't so lazy.

[Mendez]

Granted, you suddenly feel an unquenchable desire to work, but you only want to work on Diaper-furry animations for the rest of your life.
I wish I was the best electrical engineer in the world

[Cyclo]

(click to show/hide)

Granted, every little thing that has ever lived and has or had the potential to be as good or better than you is dead.

I want a pile of odd socks that have no odor, but every time you dig into them, you will never find a proper pair of socks, as every time you think you found a matching sock, there is always an off detail, meaning that when possible sock combinations run out, the pile will be empty, yet somehow it is compacted into the size of a pile of about 20 socks, all of which are legal to own and have no contaminants and are impossible to salvage into a usable material. You can also move the pile around as if it was a pile of 20 socks, but no socks will ever fall from the pile unless you dig them out.

[Xhatahx]

Granted, but why? but they're all full of holes and are neon-colored and tacky.

I wish for a trip to Oslo.

[ZipZap]

Granted: But the plane crashed on a building

i wish for some delicious m&m's

[Oliver]

Granted, but they are expired and is melting.

I wish to meet the famous YouTuber, BurdlineCaster.
(something whispering gibberish)
I mean CrazyScout.

I feel like someone isn't getting the reference here: https://youtu.be/v0qRsGGhoQQ?t=3m59s

[Upsilon]

Granted!  Something tells you that he hates you though.  He then turns into a hungry pumpkin who wants burgers!

I wish for a pencil.

[bass44]

Granted but it's the pencil that the Joker uses for a magic trick.

I wish the Seinfeld theme played every time I hear something dumb.

[GameAndWatcher]

Granted, but instead of the normal version, it's every BiizzaStunner rip that uses it, one after the other.

I wish all food that I ate turned healthy.

[Xhatahx]

Granted, but because it's health food, it tastes bad.

I wish Iceland will win Eurovision next year.