12
« on: June 02, 2015, 02:30:07 AM »
I just... I just don't know what to say... I mean, another one of the big people is planning to leave. This feeling is kinda how I felt when Uki left, or when Ivory left. I felt like the 8BDM community/game couldn't exist without them; like the game was a part of them. "They can't leave, they just can't" I used to say to myself, but yet it happened. To me, it felt like someone like Korby left, or Kapus left, or heck, I felt like friggin' CutmanMike left. Yet, I still think to myself "They can't leave, they just can't" even thought I know very well that we all will have to move on one day, including me (and how I loath the day that will happen).
If it makes you feel any better, I always looked up to the coders in the community. They live a dream I can only, well, dream of doing: being able to code whatever you want, almost whenever you want. I always had this this high idea of coders where "Coders are the greatest problem solvers this world has, and it's these same people that have the power to move the world into a new, brighter future; a new future of technology and freedom". Of course, that made me always want to be a coder, more specifically a game coder when I grow up. Sadly, the last chance of that ever happening is lost, and now I'm stuck on the path my parents choose for of becoming a Doctor, the last thing I ever want to be. The worst part is that I now refuse to learn coding (Or at least continue from my basic knowledge of coding) because I know I will never have time for it in the future anyways. When you come from a family of pretty much only Doctors, you realize how much hell it is to become one, and after you become one, and trust me when I say it's a LOT of hell.
Sorry for gushing like that. Bottom line, I want you to know that at least I want to make you feel welcome. Not just that, but I look up to Max, not just for being a coder, but because of the whole 'Coming out about being a girl" thing. That took a lot of strength, strength I know a guy like me can only wish to have..