Cutstuff Forum
General => Anything Goes => Topic started by: Wil on November 25, 2010, 01:54:29 AM
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The Love Affair Between Kirbu and Wil
Chapter 1
Kirbu always wanted something more in his life, but the members that he had tried to have relationships with (Celebi, Brotoad, Yellow Devil, Agent Snakeman, Travis, everyone else ever) turned out to be failures of a sort. So Kirbu had to go travelling to find his soulmate guy.
Kirbu FELL FOR HOURS before he finally found the thing he was looking for. It was MEGA MAN 8-BIT DEATHMATCH! Nobody had ever heard of it on Cutstuff forums before. So, he went on a server and then came upon a guy named "Wil".
"Wil" was a angry guy who didn't talk and kept shooting Kirbu to death whenever Kirbu tried to start a conversation. Kirbu persisted though, "Wil! This is not war! Let's talk!"
"What? This is war," replied Wil, who decided to use Air Shooter to shoot at Kirbu now.
"No, this is LIFE!" said Kirbu, respawning for the 50th time.
And this was the beginning of a relationship that would last forever and ever.
TO BE CONTINUED
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AMAZING i cannot wait for part too keep it up it was awesome i have so many questions arg *head explodes*
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Chapter 2
Kirbu realized he had finally found his soulmate. He found himself daydreaming about Wil and various parts of Wil. Nearly every day, Kirbu went onto that server to battle Wil, but he never fought Wil, he stood by and allowed Wil to take advantage of him. He hoped that maybe Wil would grow an attachment to him though this.
One day, Wil finished another game of 50-0 DM with Kirbu, and he said "Can you get some of your friends to play?"
And Kirbu said, "Why?"
"Because you suck and I need to battle with people."
Kirbu's heart broke into a million pieces. Kirbu disconnected, crying ashamedly and running as fast as he could. Running, running. He thought what he and Wil had was special, but Wil just wanted a battle partner, and that was someone Kirbu could not be.
Suddenly, Kirbu slammed into the body of someone and fell over. Hastening to wipe the tears from his eyes, Kirbu tried to look tough at the newcomer who he could not see (due to the tears).
"Are you okay?" A voice said.
Kirbu blinked and the person he slammed into came into focus. It was a manly man guy. Kirbu wondered what he was doing here, but he found that he didn't really care. Kirbu was getting feelings for this person almost immediately.
"Are you okay? My name is Phoba."
TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN
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Oh no..
And so it begins... *sniff*
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The worst part is I don't even remember doing this :/
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Chapter 3
Kirbu allowed himself to be brought to his feet by Phoba. Dazed, wondering what to do, he fell over again. Phoba helped him up again, and this time Kirbu managed to remain standing.
"What are you doing out here?" Phoba asked, and Kirbu felt a chill as Phoba looked him up and down.
"I was running.." Kirbu said, blushing furiously. He had never had so much trouble talking to someone before, not even that time when he and Brotoad were in love.
"Well, I just was standing here when you bumped into me," Phoba said awkwardly. He looked around as if wishing he were someone else. Kirbu looked puzzledly at him. Phoba slowly backed away, but Kirbu stepped with him.
Phoba ran, ran as fast as he could, but Kirbu caught up with him and pinned him down to the ground. Phoba struggled as Kirbu began kissing his neck. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" Phoba shouted, continuing to struggle against Kirbu's iron grip.
Suddenly, Kirbu was pulled up by the back of the shirt and pushed onto the ground by someone. Kirbu gazed up at the person, but suddenly someone was on top of him. Kirbu felt a jolt, it was... But, no..
"Hello, Kirbu."
TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN AGAIN
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Why do I think I know who is about to be introduced?
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This is so wrong in so many ways :mrgreen:
I enjoy lol'ing at this though. Like i enjoy lolling at a ton of other things.
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Waiit I don't want to be in a relationship with you :cool:
Why would you even try me?
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wut is wrong with u ppl
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Thank goodness I'm not popular yet.
Making out with you guys would seriously be awkward, no offense.
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^ This... Thank god its just a fanfic huh?
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I'm.. popular..?
I don't think that's the case, he's probably putting most of the forum memebers in random spots of the story.
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Oh god...
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wut is wrong with u ppl
Wat do you mean " U ppl"
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What is wrong with us, well that is just it nothing is wrong with us because we are awesome enough to make day dream stories about the forum and MM8BDM
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Chapter 4
It was, of course, Wil.
"Kirbu, I realize this now! I love you forever!" Wil exclaimed, slamming Kirbu's head into the ground repeatedly.
"Really?! You do!?" Kirbu cried, both because he was excited and because the pain in the back of his head was horrifying.
Phoba looked over briefly, concluded that they were both busy looking into each other's eyes with a slavish look, and ran like hell. He slammed into a wall in his epic fury to escape, and managed to flop through it by noclipping. He then went to the skybox and began spawning Mettaurs like a noob.
Wil and Kirbu continued to look into eachother's eyes with a slavish look for 40 minutes before making out bizzarely and quite homosexually. Kirbu reached for Wil's Tengu Blade, but Wil warded him off. "I am not gay, bro."
They then continued to make out.
They lay there for many thousands of milliseconds before suddenly the moderator of the server realized what the hell they were doing and they were both permabanned forever.
Being permabanned forever means you are thrust (lol) from the server and then must go into a new one. But where would Wil be? thought Kirbu. The first server he tried was empty. And another. Kirbu cried.
But suddenly, a hand touched his shoulder! He started and looked around, and it someone who he had never ever expected to see again oh dear
TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
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WHO COULD IT BE. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
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Chapter 5
It was Sonic the Hedgehog!!!
"Sonic the Hedgehog?! What the hell are you doing here?!" Kirbu said, falling back to a nearby wall.
"Well, little buddy, I'm here because you've gone around the bend!" Sonic said, taking a seat on a chair that wasn't there before.
"Excuse me?"
"You've gone insane, and you're hallucinating my existence."
"Oh. Well, that sucks." Kirbu slowly inched down the wall until he sat down.
"Not necessarily. Now you've got a cool guy to hang out with!" Sonic leaned forward in his chair, a bizzare longing in his eyes.
"I wish I was hanging out with Wil..." Kirbu looked away, staring at a Big Eye that was randomly stomping around the background.
"Well, the thing is, kid, Fall Wil is kind of a loser. You need to set your bar a little higher!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he's kind of a loser."
"How can you say that?!" Kirbu jumped up, prepared to attack the hedgehog that didn't exist.
"Fall Wil isn't good enough for you! You're a pretty cool guy. Eh, is gay and doesn't afraid of anything."
"What did that mean?"
"I don't know, you're the one putting words into my mouth I suck cocks."
"Oh, sorry." He sat back down.
"Whatever, man. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you should get over Fall Wil. Maybe you should go hook up with Brotoad again or something."
"I don't think he'll want to talk to me after the last time we met..."
"Well, then force him to talk to you."
"You want me to rape him!?" Kirbu said, looking alarmed.
"No, I want you to talk to him. What the hell are you talking about."
"I can't even remember if Brotoad is a boy or a girl..."
"We all make that mistake sometimes."
"Yeah, like that time in Beirut."
"Yeah."
"Yep."
There was a long silence.
"So, good luck with Fall Wil, guy." Sonic started fading away.
"Wait!" Kirbu said, putting out a hand to possibly cause Sonic to stop disintegrating. "Why do you call him Fall Wil?"
Sonic didn't answer, but continued to fade away until he disappeared entirely. Kirbu sat back down and thought about life, the universe, and everything.
TO BE CONTINUED AGAINx4
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...what.
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...what.
the one where kirbu goes insane
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Chapter 6
Wil was shouting. He was shouting because he jumped out a seven story window. He jumped out a seven story window because he found out what he was doing in the building. What he was doing in the building was a male.
Wil woke up quite suddenly that day, wondering where he was and how he got there, since the last thing he could remember was going to a Roboenza server, and then everyone there decided to go get drinks. He figured he went with them... but where was he now? He was roused form this thought by becoming aware that he was sharing his bed with Korby.
And that's why Wil jumped out of the window without looking. He now realized he wasn't directly next to the ground, but rather his fall would be so long that he could say 'blimey, this fall is long' without splattering into the pavement. He didn't say this, however.
Anyway, he was falling. Nothing below him but street and trees. He smacked into one of the trees, and tumbled down to the ground, where he slammed into the pavement hard. He then was flopped onto his front into the street, where he was promptly run over.
He respawned in the hotel room he just left, momentarily bewildered. He suddenly realized that he was, of course, just a character in a Doom 2 hack. He quietly left the room with Korby still sleeping, and crept down to the elevator.
To his surprise, the elevator was not working. It refused to go down any floors, but was happy to suddenly spring him 6 floors up without stopping. He jammed the ground floor button and then was brought 2 more floors up before quitting.
And so, he took to the stairs. Eventually he decided to just walk down low enough to jump without dying, which was the fifth floor, and so he did. And then he got ran over by a car again.
He respawned in the hotel room again, pissed off to all hell. He looked over at the sleeping Korby and had a thought. He picked up Korby and threw him out the window. A minute later, Korby had respawned in the hotel room, shocked and shaking like crazy. Before he would even see the laughing face of Wil, Wil was gone.
This time, he decided to walk all the way down to the ground floor. Then he got a bus to a server terminal, wondering where to go now, what he had been doing last night, how he ended up in a hotel room with Korby, and why he had vague memories of a figure with whom he had been making out with.
TO BE CONTINUED A MILLION TIMES
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Chapter 7 - Kirbu
Kirbu was shouting. He was shouting because someone kicked him in the groin. Someone kicked him in the groin because Kirbu was hitting on them. He was hitting on them because he was lonely.
It all began when Kirbu went to a bar to try and pick up guys. He quickly found out that this was, in fact, a straight bar. 'Hmmm...' Kirbu thought. 'Mayhaps I can attempt being attracted to women. That would be hilarious.' The Sonic in the back of his head nodded his approval.
He walked up to the nearest woman and said, "Did you come from the moon? Because you look out of this world!". This was the point where he got kicked in the groin, rather forcefully, he would personally add. He was also personally add that he did not cry at all.
Crying uncontrollably, whimpering, shaking, and crushed, Kirbu pulled himself up to the nearest bar and ordered a Sprite. He continued to cry, whimper, shake, and be crushed as he drank his Sprite, and afterwords he was suddenly a god of sex and believed he could do anything!
He ran up to a different lady and said, "Ne. Yaranaika?" They were both confused about this. Kirbu slowly started to creep away, but the lady suddenly said, "You're from Japan!?!"
She started flipping out and wringing Kirbu's hand, who was now throughly confused. "I've been looking for someone from Japan for a long time on here! But there's, like, nobody at all on here that's not American. Come with me!" She screamed, pulling Kirbu with her out of the bar to who knows where.
Like Wil, Kirbu's next memory was that of waking up in a hotel with a mysterious and sexy person, this time a neurotic lady. As he looked around, dizzy, he noticed she was already awake, and making notes on a clipboard. "W-what happened... last night..." He said, still woozy from the alcohol he couldn't remember consuming.
"You helped me out a lot, Mr. Kirbu!" She beamed at him. "I've been trying to have sex with every nationality ever! You just made my list 50% complete!" Kirbu digested this, but while he was doing that, she was already leaving.
"Wait! Where are you going?" He asked her, scared and confused of what lurked outside of this room. She looked back at him, confused. "I'm going to look for a Chinese guy to screw his brains out. Then I'll rate his performance and other things on my list." She briefly showed him the list, and he noted it had many bizarre qualifications on it.
She made for the door again, but Kirbu spoke up again. "Who are you?" He asked, and she looked around again. "I can't tell you, since this is illegial according to the laws of the world."
And then she left for real.
Kirbu lay back on the comfy bed shaped like a heart. He was just used by a woman for sex, what was he to think about it? And he didn't even remember a second of the action itself, but the thought of it made him feel fuzzy inside. After a while, he got up and looked out the window, wondering, like Wil, where to go from here.
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Chapter 8 - Wil
Wil was thrust from his thoughts by an explosion. He slammed his head into a wall and became unconscious. When he awoke, he was in a prison cell.
Wil looked around, dazed and confused. Also in the cell was someone who he identified as a member he didn't know, and also Korby. Korby jerked awake shortly after Wil looked at him. Seconds later, Wil was being pushed against a wall with Korby's hand firmly on his throat.
"Why did you throw me out of that window?! That hurt, you know..." He said indignantly. Wil was unable to reply, as he was being strangled. Korby released him. "Sorry, I was pissed off. Get over it." Wil said, walking over to the bars, massaging his neck. They were in a small box-like building, with half of the space being a rusty jail cell and the other half consisting of a dozing security guard and a bottle of E-Tank. "Where are we?" He said.
The member that Wil didn't recognize that he now realized was Phoba spoke up, "They're terrorists or something." Wil looked back at the sleeping security. "Terrorists?" He looked around, quickly realizing there was no way to escape but through that door.
"Yeah. You guys fell unconscious on the bus, but I was able to not hit a wall. They all rushed in and grabbed everyone who looked interesting... us three. I heard them talking while I was pretending to be asleep. They want to hold us hostage for some company to send them money to release us." Phoba said, looking at his own hands with mild interest.
"What do they want with us? None of us are important enough to be ransom money..." Wil said, but he noticed Korby was looking worried. "What's up?" Korby turned to face him. "I think... I think they're after me."
"My brother runs the most successful Server Terminal in Bass Sector, I guess they went to get me, and got you two as bonuses in case my bro wants to give away some more money." Korby sat on a bench, deep in thought. Wil was as well. How was there a way for him to get out of here? Korby's brother might pay for his release, but to imply that he would even consider paying for the release of him and Phoba was laughable. They would be dead within the hour of the deal finishing.
Outside, three amateur gangsters sat around playing cards. They sent out their message and a picture of their prisoners a while back, and were now waiting for a reply. These guys were criminals, but none of them really knew what they were doing. They were mostly running off of the confused guidance of their leader, Rourke. Suddenly, the phone rang.
They scrambled for the phone before Rourke pushed the rest away and answered it. "I believe you have gotten our messages, Korbi?" He said slyly. He paced around, and said, "Yes. .... If you don't have 100,000 dollars here in 24 hours, all the hostages die. .... Well- .... Yes. .... 5,000 each for the spares. .... Okay, okay. .... We don't take bribes, Mr. Korbi. And if you call the cyber police, ya done goofed because we will kill your brother. Call us back when you have the mo-" Another explosion.
The small building was in crumbles, and out of the rubble came Phoba, Korby, and Wil, the latter two holding handguns. Wil held up a half-crumbled brick. "Hey! Maybe you should lock your weapons room, and not position your guard directly next to the cell!" He threw the brick at the oncoming other terrorist, who was knocked cold. The second one hesitated, before running.
Rourke stood frozen, looking at the burning wreckage of the jail cell. His first thought was that he wondered why they blew up the jail building. Now that he thought about it, his operation really was sophomore. He didn't have much time to think about it, since Korby plunged a bullet through his heart.
"Korby, what the hell?! We weren't supposed to kill him!!" Wil shouted, looking around at all the burning wreckage.
"I don't like being kidnapped. It's not really something I enjoy." Korby said, looking dazed at the sound his gun made.
"Shut up!" Wil yelled, locating a parked car a while away.
"Let's take that car and get out of here! If the police show up and find three dudes carrying glocks with two bodies and a burning building, they won't take kindly to it." He said, storming over to the car.
"Where do we go now?" Phoba asked. For the second time that day, Wil had no answer to that question. He just got into the car and started hotwiring it. Korby and Phoba looked at each other and got in too.
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...what the hell is wrong with you?
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Oh wow, haha. I just suddenly felt like checking out this thread to read a bit. Amazing stuff~ Thanks for the laughs, this was pretty entertaining in a way.
Like everyone else said, good thing I'm not depicted here. :P
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...what the hell is wrong with you?
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maybe nothing is wrong with him and it's all of you who have something wrong with yourselves!
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Brotoad's got something wrong with him too.
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Yep. Call the mental hospital... :)
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Despite how drastically unrealistic it is for me to actually swear, this is a fanfic and I guess I have no power over you.
Anyway, I still love this thing to death. It rocks.
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i for one don't understand whats wrong with me or the author, as this is truley a complex tale of romance and suspence!
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i see my work as a combination of stylistic suck and bad writing, however, it does sort of hurt to be called insane for this. :(
ill edit korbys lines later and from now on, ill ask what youd say or do in the situation :D
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I myself didn't say your writing sucks or needs to improve. I liked it, it was entertaining and funny, so please don't let my comments, or anyone elses, discourage you. If someone called you insane, they're just obviously in denial or want to have an internet tough guy image.
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multiple edits made to most recent chapter
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This fanfic is a good laugh for me and i like seeing how people write...
I was thinking of story writing myself though i get stuck on dialogues.
So this brings a smile and interest from me. :geek:
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edited to be a story and not a fanfic of which it is not
from here on the story focuses on Wil and Kirbu with alternating chapters, where the storylines briefly cross over sometimes. More characters and their stories may be added as time goes on.
While this was originally a silly parody homosexual love fanfic, I am now putting effort into it (although admittedly less than if i was really serious). The storyline is now that Wil is on the run and Kirbu is lookin' for love in all the wrong places
also, took out mention of the girl (Wing)'s name, since I thought it was dumb of her to give herself a random codename and if i ever use her again then i'll have thought of a better name to use
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Chapter 9 - Wil
Wil never really learned how to drive. The other two discovered this after they saw him behind the wheel. It was pandemonium, bodies flying everywhere, things crashing, explosions, screams, among other things. When Phoba glanced back, the bodies flying everywhere part turned out to be false and it was just people running and not dying horribly. The screaming was there, however.
"Where are we?" Wil wondered aloud, narrowly avoiding hitting a solid brick wall. "No idea." said Korby, trying hard not to look out the front window or hear the loud sounds. "Well, let's go find somewhere to go. Where should we go, man?" Wil turned his head to Korby, but he quickly turned it back after Korby's pleas to watch the road. Korby considered this before saying, "I know this place we can hide out for a while. It's over in Cossack Sector, by the Conveniently Placed Weapons Depot." "The CPWD? Hey, we can get guns there..." Wil mused, while Korby restarted yelling at him to watch the road.
Suddenly, there was a sharp turn and the car flew directly off the path. Everyone in the car started screaming at the top of their lungs as the car flew down, almost in slow motion. It was so long a fall the car had the time to turn completely around, and when it landed, it was on it's wheels. Wil had been slamming the brakes like a madman and had then been smashing the gas, so when they hit they shot forward like a bullet.
Wil swiftly swerved out of the way of a wall, and ran into a bizzarely placed ramp, where they flew over a river, landing eventually and startlingly back on the highway. Everyone was frozen in their seat for about 60 seconds, presumably thinking 'Oh my god, that just happened!' over and over in their heads. Eventually, they slowly looked at each other, and Wil regained cool and said, "S-so, Cossack Sector?"
They drove some more in silence, before ending up in Cossack Sever. After a bit longer, they eventually made it to the safehouse. Wil looked inside cautiously. It was a one bedroom flat, with oddly two bathrooms. Most of the house was the living room which led to a small kitchen. The bedroom appeared small, the Bed and TV were the only things in it besides a large cabinet. The house appeared as though someone had lived there until recently.
"Who lives here?" Wil asked, looking around and stashing his gun. The TV was hooked up to a Dreamcast and basic cable. "Oh, this place was my half-brother's, Kirbu. He went on a journey or something and said 'Korby, if you're ever on the run from the law, here's a key to my place.'". Wil looked around at him. The name Kirbu seemed familiar... He suddenly remembered it was that annoying guy's name. He looked around with more disdain.
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Chapter 10 - Kirbu
Kirbu was in rather large trouble because he was about to be murdered. Well, that's a lie because he was totally murdered like 5 seconds ago. Didn't you guys see that? Oh, right, text, not video. So, Kirbu was murdered.
Why was he murdered? Eh, who really cares? Probably for some wacky reason. Anyway, on to business. Since Kirbu is totally dead, now we're going to
Karbi
Karbi is, of course, Korby's half-second-cousin twice removed. He's also super sexy rather dashing. Karbi was just going to visit his aunt Kurba when he was hit by a car and nearly died. This was probably Wil's car but this was equally unlikely since nobody saw the contents of the car.
So there Karbi lay, dead on the sidewalk. Except he wasn't dead. He had god mode turned on, so he was bleeding like a madman but somehow still alive. He got up, dusted himself off, shined himself off real nice, turned himself sideways, and walked off in a different direction.
He went to go get a coffee and the lady there flirted with him so much that he got 7 coffees for everything off, which unfortunately meant that she wanted him to take everything off. Karbi wasn't really good at refusing sexual encounters, so they went somewhere to do something and then the next morning Karbi was able to leave and continue his walking.
He then ran into the mail lady, who invited him into the nearest house for a cup of hot coffee. Crying sadly, Karbi agreed and 16 hours later was able to leave (after having to buy the house from the original owners and then putting it back up for sale).
And so it went for a week, Karbi walking and ending up being seduced by random women. After this week, he was walking when he was hit by another car, this time the same color. The people inside stopped and came out however, unlike the other car. There was this one guy with brown hair, another which looked vaguely familiar, and another guy who had black hair. They discussed briefly stashing the body (not realizing that Karbi was watching them with mild interest) before deciding to leave.
And so Karbi continued to walk.
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accompany art for chapter 10
(http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/6824/karbi.png)
here's a lovely one of the main cast
(http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/3389/korv.png)
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aww, no responce? i guess you've all been speechless since the last chapter <3
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Are you even still working on this? :mrgreen:
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no not really :3
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You should put me in it :D
Kids book May I say
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holy hell what the fuck is this
can someone lock this :0
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Lel mods