~ Treo ~
He doesn't feel like he has a definitive heel versus just feeling a bit clunky to use. All of his moves seem like they could chain together nicely, but each one requires you to focus all of your efforts in order to be remotely effective. His main fire, the triple acorn shot, deals negligible damage unless it is at least partially charged, and even then only the center seed is worth your time unless you get close and shotgun someone, as it both deals more damage and restores a portion of Treo's health on a successful hit. His alt fire shoots a trail of spirit fire which follows the cursor quite nicely, but it dies out as soon as you let go of the button, limiting its potential to sneak attacks from a distance. He also has an item attack, which throws a brown thing that plants a smaller "Mini-Me Treo", and if this tree takes damage it explodes into a ring of spirit fire. If you catch someone in the blast the damage is absolutely impressive, but otherwise the attack requires an extreme amount of planning (even more than Mech Unit ?'s freeze bomb, the move criticized for requiring extreme amounts of planning).
You could argue that the investment required in all of his moves makes up his "heel", but then you have the other half of the requirement, being that the class is somehow very powerful. Treo didn't feel powerful so much as he felt annoying. His attacks are slow, his movement is slow, and he's a pretty beefy guy with a method of self-recovery. He's a nice change of pace from the multitude of close-range heavy bruisers, but he doesn't really stick out from the crowd. Personally that says a lot, being that I tend to have a favorable bias towards Mighty Glaciers and Iron Walls. "Daddy loves his fatties", you could say. As a bit of a side note, I was half-expecting "Mini-Me Treo" to be a solid object when it spawned, as I initially compared the move's setup time to that of The Villager's tree special in the upcoming Super Smash Brothers 4. Was a little disappointed when I found out otherwise, but it doesn't really hurt Treo's performance.
~ Tank Snail ~
Speaking of fatties... here comes Tank Snail! At first glance, I fucking loved the shit out of this guy. Tank Snail perfectly embodies the spirit of "CHUBBIES RULE!" in a simple class that is easy to pick up and play. His slow movement speed, paired with his downright abysmal jump height, very quickly conveys the idea that Tank Snail is... well, a snail that is also a tank. Exactly what it says on the tin. The slime shot attack is an absolute beast, dealing very heavy damage on direct hit, dropping damaging slime pools while it flies through the air, and even slowing down foes hit to make them easier to land follow-up hits on. His alt fire jetpack allows Tank Snail to actually move around most maps, and if you travel the full height with it Tank Snail shocks the ground upon landing, scattering more slime pools around him in the process.
Unfortunately, Tank Snail's already crippling weakness of having next to no movement ability (which is already terrible in a first-person shooter based on a platforming game series) is further compounded by his heat gauge. The ammo gauge is already a strong limiting factor, as the jetpack chews through ammo faster than Travis's old Gun Del Sol and there's a noticeable wait for the ammo to recharge. With that said, the jetpack is a mere shadow to what the slime shot does, filling Tank Snail's heat bar most of the way in a mere seven shots. Not only is Tank Snail unable to do anything at all when he's overheated, the heat bar also takes ages to empty, leaving Tank Snail a sitting duck if he ever fully engages an opponent. It's sort of unrealistic to expect a perfect class to be entered the first time, though, and I sort of expect that, but it still sticks out pretty badly. However, with a tweak to the heat bar's fill / drain rates or the addition of a weak attack that can be performed while overheated, Tank Snail would make for an interesting class whose presence I would certainly appreciate.
~ Awadphec ~
I'll be honest: at first I couldn't stand this guy. He's incredibly glassy, really fast, and stupidly powerful... but he only regains ammo for his attacks by standing still. Actually, that's not entirely accurate; I'm not sure if it's intentional or merely a coding oversight, but Awadphec can regen the first quarter of his ammo bar while moving around. My first experience with Awadphec was in a private test server with King Dumb, who was playing Zangief. Needless to say I repeatedly got my shit stomped in. After a couple of bot games and a quick ninja playthrough online, however, I finally realized why this class is an excellent example of the competition's theme.
(I keep wanting to type Awadaphec or Awdphec, and continuously re-typing his name is beginning to frustrate me, so for the rest of this review I'll be calling the class "Donny".)
Donny's entire gimmick is that his charge attacks hurt like a sonuvabitch, but if you miss you're going to be drinking your own tears through a novelty straw. The charge attacks force Donny to stand still and eat through a good chunk of his ammo (which, may I remind you, is only truly regained by having a class with armor equivalent to a wet paper bag stand completely still and not attack at all). He has an uncharged attack that uses minimal ammo and deals good damage, and he also has a dash-kick thing on alternate fire that I personally found near-useless, especially considering that it steals part of your ammo despite not needing that much to perform the attack. Both attacks are useful for finishing off foes that might've been grazed by a partial charge attack or for fending off persistent enemies who won't leave you the fuck alone.
In a nutshell, Donny likes to charge up energy, let loose a can of whoop-ass in the middle of a crowd, steal several frags, then run away before anyone notices he was there. His double weakness of low ammo and only regaining ammo when motionless causes Donny's effectiveness to wildly oscillate based on both the map size and the number of players in the game, but he still remains an interesting and effective take on the theme of Achilles' Heel. Donny is a class that I initially despised with my very soul, but has since grown on me and I'd love to see him around in the future (with some small tweaks, mind you).
~ Viz ~
Ah, Viz... another one of my personal favorites, and a relaxing class in general. His heel, having little to no range, is immediately observed as soon as you shoot once. The spiral tri-shot looks spectacular, and each orb of the spiral is a different projectile, so you can totally graze someone with part of the shot and fail to deal full damage. Unfortunately for Viz, his heel isn't very prominent in actual gameplay, as he not only sports normal movement speed in a competition classes pack full of slow fatties, he also has that teleport alt which can very quickly close the distance between Viz and whoever he has his eye on (pun fully intended). This is especially apparent when you remember that the teleport hugs the floor, clipping Viz up walls or suddenly throwing him down ledges before you can even blink (again, puns are good for you). That isn't to say his heel isn't there, but he has tools to work around the issue.
Speaking of tools... I might be getting a little over my head here, but I'm tempted to say that the Viz teleport alt is the single most powerful move in 8-Bit Deathmatch history. Not only does it cover a good distance and allow Viz to instantly scale all sorts of fun cliffs and ledges, he also has the feature of being able to return to his original position (before he even teleported in the first place!) by pressing alt-fire a second time, within four seconds of using the teleport. Viz can effectively chase someone down, pelt them with his swirly balls, and if he gets into trouble with anyone else after he gets the frag, he can warp away from the fight. Or, he could use the teleport to act like he's running away to heal, lure an opponent to go after him, and then -NOPE!- warps right back and jukes the poor kid. This is completely ignoring the fact that the warp dash blinds anyone you pass through, and I haven't even bothered to mention the "swirling purple vortex of FUCK YOU instagib lightning towers" move Viz gets after using the teleport. Yeah. The dash is that good.
I want Viz-brand body lotion to lather up with before every game. :ugeek:
~ Tsuyoi ~
Approximately here is where all my hopes and dreams were immediately crushed into a nice little pile of dust. I almost feel bad for Tsuyoi, as he perfectly embodies what the competition was all about: a "powerful class" sporting some form of "very obvious gameplay weakness". Then again, I really don't feel bad for Tsuyoi at all, because the golden Hard Man makes his daddy proud by being ridiculously hard to actually play. His alt is a kick attack which I assume was designed to throw him forward and kick right through players, though in practice I often ended up kicking right into someone else's body and resulted in a poor man's Fusion Dance, with both players awkwardly spinning around wondering why they can't move until one of us realizes that we're stuck and proceeds to kill the other player while they can't dodge any attacks. The kick can be charged, sure, but as Tsuyoi automatically attacks once he reaches a full charge, the only real purpose it serves is to help you escape combat; attempting to use it to close distances will likely end in the previous "Fusion Dance" scenario.
The main attack isn't any better. You get the world's most underwhelming melee attack, dealing medium-low damage and having less range than old Jax Classes Guts Punch. If you manage to actually get close enough to hit somebody with it, Tsuyoi has a combo attack mechanic that basically means "you win a free punch". This is good, since if you fail to hit somebody (which is very likely due to the pissy punch range) Tsuyoi has an after-attack delay comparable to the likes of Astro Crush. If you hit somebody with the "free" second punch (probably the same dude since you're already staring at them), you get a third; land that punch and win a fourth. Unfortunately the fun stops there, as Tsuyoi has a limit to his combo attack and can't simply chain infinite punches from some AFK dude locked in a corner. More often than not, however, the fun will have stopped earlier than that, as these punches have the normal 8BDM hitstun on them. This means that it is completely and entirely possible to hit someone and have them recoil backwards out of the range of your additional punches, breaking the combo early. Hell, even if you land the full combo, Tsuyoi still can't kill anything with a single punch combo. Maybe it's a little extreme to say this, but you're probably better off gambling on Tank Snail's heat gauge.
~ Juri Kitai ~
The headaches continue with Juri Kitai, whom with I was disappointed once I realized she did not appear in Super Street Fighter IV (I was thinking of Juri Han). I was expecting flashy dark energy kicks, but all I got were some eyeballs. She starts off normal enough: throws roaches for an attack, has a Ghouls vs. Humans screamer AoE for the alt, uses the Roll skin because she's a girl and apparently that hasn't gone out of style during the 8BDM v2 era. However, Juri's appearances are very deceiving. For example, did you know that the roach attack is not only scaled down through the engine and (in my opinion) looks terrible against absolutely everything in the game, but it can also climb walls and seek out opponents with enough accuracy to make Dive Missile shit itself in fear?
There's also the matter of the eyeballs overlay (or what I can only assume to be eyeballs, anyway). Supposedly it makes Juri hurt less and lowers her armor values (which, may I point out, start at fucking HARD ARMOR), but none of that is made apparent in-game. Her health bar stays the same, there's nothing on the screen besides those eyeballs, Juri's attacks don't look any different... honestly, I had no idea what the dicks was even happening. And yet, somehow, this problem becomes even worse when you're fighting against Juri. Her homing mini-roaches throw the annoying buzzing eyeballs on your screen, and aside from being annoying, you have no idea what it means, how it affects you, or if you should worry about it. Hell, Juri isn't that fun to play as without the eyeballs; the roaches do all the work for you, and the AoE scream is only good for when you're so close to a player that the roaches will have a hard time locking on to them and will instead run donuts around their feet.
~ Knux ~
This class. My body was not ready for this class, especially considering the two classes I played before. At first he looks normal enough: main is a chargeable arrow that either explodes on contact or, at full charge, sticks to surfaces (and players!!) for a brief moment before detonating, and alt throws a huge-ass bubble that slowly floats upward. I heard that if you hit the bubble with an arrow, something special happens, but online the hitbox that checks for arrows is wonky as all hell and I couldn't observe this happening. He also has a regenerating item that plants mines on the floor, which arm themselves approximately one second after you place them. This is important, as the mines detonate when anyone touches them (including Knux), and they throw their target high into the air.
Simple enough, right? Cool. Now slam your thumb against the SpaceBar.
Oh dear Xerneas this guy can fucking JUMP! Let me tell you, this jump height is orgasmic... and I can totally explain why. See, unless you charge the arrow at least halfway, Knux deals pissy amounts of damage. The normal arrows are pissy, the bubbles are pissy, the little mines on the ground are pissy too. Therefore, if you're interested in actually killing something, you have to spend a lot of time charging arrows, which usually isn't fun for a guy with slow movement speed and doesn't have all that great of an armor value. This jump, though... that makes Knux so much more enjoyable to play. Being able to leap that high and let off a charged shot, come back to the ground to charge, and leap back up just in time for another charge shot brought me an insane amount of pure joy. Combined with the ability to "mine-jump" and the fact that his bubble attack knocks players around harder than ye old v1b Wind Storm, Knux is an absolute beast with area control.
His heel's very clear-cut as well, being that every attack at Knux's fingertips is very very capable of blasting his fingertips right off. The arrow explosions can self-damage, the bubbles self-damage (and still knock you face-first into the wall textures), and I already brought up the mines self-damaging. Simply put, Knux is allergic to melee range. They'll beat his ass into the ground as he can't really run away due to his slow speed, and if he tries to fight back he'll only help himself die faster. He has tools to help mitigate this, being the repel bubbles, the floor mines, and DAT JUMP, but even then these tools aren't perfect. This is exactly what Korby was looking for in the contest, and I see Knux pull it off beautifully.
~ Nature's Wonder ~
Also known as "that deer from Nichijou", Nature's Wonder is... well he's unique, I'll give you that much. He plays very defensively, being able to conjure up crystal lines with main that deal damage to players who walk into them, much like Flame Blast. You can change the crystal formation with the three inventory items, but they're incredibly buggy online; the plus formation doesn't work at all, and while the wall formation worked for me, King Dumb had no such luck on his end. Even with such an error, the line formation has the most reach so you'll probably want that one the most, with the wall formation seeing use in blocking up hallways on maps such as Cut Man. Deer's alt creates a targeting reticule for as long as you hold the button; when released, a gigantic crystal slams into the ground for massive damage, creating a shockwave that travels outward, also dealing good damage.
It took me a long time to figure out the heel, though. Deer has normal-ish movement speed, decent armor, normal jump height, and a very reasonable amount of ammo. It wasn't until I joined an online game where it sort of became apparent: Deer's attacks are stupidly easy to dodge if you're even remotely paying any attention. The main has mediocre range even in the line formation, so just keeping a bit of distance foils Deer's plans of trapping you with the crystals. In addition, the targeting reticule for the alt is visible to all players and the shockwave is low to the ground, so simply side-stepping the crystal missile and jumping over the wave entirely negates that attack as well. Even still, the heel isn't entirely obvious, its effectiveness depends largely on the opponent's skill level (which could be said about nearly every attack in the game), and it can be worked around by sneaking up on players or using the alt from a long distance.
~ Zard ~
I don't think I even need to talk about Zard, but if I single him out it wouldn't be fair to him. I will say that, because I test each class by using only one move at a time, I was extremely impressed with him before I used his alt. The main fire sends out two Ice Waves that crawl forward and clip across the ground like v3's Ice Wave, but if you press main fire a second time the Ice Waves return to Zard. It's effectively a floor-bound boomerang attack, which is unique in two ways: firstly, it's a grounded boomerang and we don't have any of those around to my knowledge; and secondly, you can control when it comes back to you, a feature that Rolling Cutter, Ring Boomerang, and Knight Crush all lack. With the right control, Zard can zig-zag the Ice Waves over an opponent quickly and rack up impressive damage... but at the same, time Zard becomes entirely vulnerable when he throws the Ice Waves out, as he has to wait for them to come back before he can throw them out again. I liked this a lot, and at first I thought Zard was going to be another strong entry in the competition.
Then I used the alt. To put it lightly, Zard can basically shit out nine or ten electric balls that hang around the air until someone gets close to them, at which point they will immediately dive-bomb the poor sap and enjoy snacking on their health bar like a three-course dinner. He also has enough ammo to spam the attack at sufficient levels to fill the entirety of pre-v4 Cut Man. Whatever weakness Zard had with his Ice Waves attack, the lightning balls make up for at least sixfold. You can't approach Zard, you can't out-damage Zard, you can't render Zard helpless. There is literally nothing you can do against this asshole unless you're playing as Knux and you're capable of sniping halfway across a large map such as Wave Man or MM2 Wily, or if you're Mega Man and you lucked out by picking up a Magnet Missile before Zard notices you and runs over to bomb your anus with more lightning balls.
~ Zangief ~
I didn't play the competition classes immediately on release, so I was greeted by various responses from other Cutopians that Zangief was, quite simply, "the bee's knees". However, as Zangief doesn't do that great of a job explaining himself, I had a somewhat different experience while I was trying to decipher his moveset. Main fire is a grab that picks people up and chucks them around. You can hold it down to dash forward, then release to grab somebody; Zangief will not automatically stop and pick someone up on his own accord. He will pick someone up automatically with his "Zangief-Copter", which is activated by using the main while airborne. This is the first thing that confused me: his main attack performs differently based on whether you use it in the air or not. The ground version can be redirected and must be released to attack, whereas the aerial version can't be redirected but automatically grabs opponents.
The second thing that confused me was that Zangief actually has two weapons, the other being what I associated as Atomic Buster. (Bonus points for using an Atomic Fire buster HUD, I appreciated the pun.) This attack automatically executes when charged, but unlike Tsuyoi's alt, the attack doesn't do anything unless it's fully charged. Also unlike Tsuyoi's alt, the charge time really isn't that bad (barely over a second), and it's actually capable of killing things. Quite frankly, Atomic Buster is downright horrifying. Anything with normal armor or less gets decimated in a single hit by the spinning slam, and to everything else it still deals an absolutely impressive amount of damage.
Honestly, before I found Atomic Buster I was thinking Zangief wasn't so bad. His throws are powerful, sure, but you have to get close to use them, and depending on the throw you either have to predict like a sonuvabitch (aerial) or time your release right (ground), or else pay for it with a noticeable cooldown. Zangief's alt attack (what I assume to be Spinning Lariat) is a good cover, capable of hitting in all directions and having less of a cooldown penalty, but it lacks pure offensive power compared to his throws. However, Atomic Buster quickly throws that idea out the window (pun intended) with its quick start-up time and obscene damage output.
As an aside, my scores tend to be higher than those of my partners. I'm grading things in a similar manner to the hit PlayStation 1 rhythm game PaRappa the Rapper, with the general scale being:
5 - Tight
4 - Good
3 - Okay
2 - Bad
1 - Awful
0 - Other Language / Failed To Read Prompt
With that out of the way, let's get the show on the road, starting with...
Treo
Theme: 3 (x2) - Has some noticeable drawbacks, but doesn't feel too polarizing. The heel is pretty well hidden.
Fun: 2 (x2) - Personally I didn't find the reward from each attack satisfying compared to the amount of effort put into them.
Intuitive: 2 - It's not entirely obvious that the alt dies out by releasing it or that Mini-Me Treo explodes into ghost flames.
Balance: 4 - I feel the need to mention two Treos can get into an awkward homo-erotic charge-fest by healing off each other.
Originality: 3 - Can't say I've ever heard of a three-faced tree that spits exploding acorns and sets its own children on fire.
Aesthetics: 4 - The HUD is goofy but it works. The ghost flame threw me off at first but even that's not too out of place.
Total: 23/40
[5:02:40 PM] Rozark Kyouko: I suppose you can say that they had some "Good Wood"
Tank Snail
Theme: 4 (x2) - The heel is to the point of making the class nearly useless, but still follows the theme very closely.
Fun: 3 (x2) - "Daddy loves his fatties" ... usually. Despite the heat bar giving me a chokehold, I still managed to enjoy the class.
Intuitive: 5 - I instantly picked up on pretty much everything about the class. Very effective as a "plug-n-play" class.
Balance: 3 - That heat bar is insane, but with a slight adjustment the class would be balanced while still retaining its heel.
Originality: 4 - It's a giant mechanical snail with ass thrusters. ASS THRUSTERS! How can you NOT get a kick out of that!?
Aesthetics: 5 - The slime shot is simple but it looks great in practice. The HUD bars are also nice, if placed a bit awkwardly.
Total: 31/40
[5:54:48 PM] xColdxFusionx: Tank Snail fits the theme
[5:54:54 PM] xColdxFusionx: He just fits it FAR TOO WELL
Awadphec Donny
Theme: 5 (x2) - "Make a powerful class that has a very obvious gameplay weakness!" Fucking nailed it.
Fun: 3 (x2) - Didn't feel that satisfying when I landed a charge, and I hated nervously standing to get ammo with glass armor.
Intuitive: 3 - I -still- have no idea what the alt is for... or the ammo colors. Cherry explained it but it wasn't apparent in-game.
Balance: 5 - Donny's absurd charge attack power is very reasonably offset both by low armor and his ammo requirements.
Originality: 4 - It takes some real balls to make a Fragile Speedster who has to stop being Speedster in order to recharge.
Aesthetics: 4 - The attacks weren't gorgeous but the graphics worked. I will never stop bringing up that ammo bar though.
Total: 32/40
[6:01:42 PM] SmashMan: Awadapec / aka "Cherry pls" / I butchered the name didn't I
[6:02:00 PM] SmashMan: this guy hurts like a motherfucker
Viz
Theme: 3 (x2) - Suffers a bit from "Treo Syndrome". The heel's there and all, but he has more than enough ways around it.
Fun: 5 (x2) - Holy ass hammers this class is fun. It's either how pretty the attacks are or how many times I juked with the warp.
Intuitive: 4 - It took me a minute to realize the one-use lightning was timed with the backwards warp. Very clear-cut otherwise.
Balance: 3 - Fighting Viz is borderline aggravating due to his jukes and the ability to blind. He's not terribly outrageous, though.
Originality: 5 - Never seen anything like the backwards warp or combo attack (the vortex) in my three years of 8BDM. Bravo.
Aesthetics: 5 - The attacks look absolutely stunning. Optic Man is still goofy as hell, though. On a side note, "lol BN Buster HUD"
Total: 33/40
[6:11:02 PM] SmashMan: altfire is where things get FUNK AS FUCK
[6:12:27 PM] SmashMan: NOW DARK MAGICIAN
[6:12:40 PM] SmashMan: DARK MAGIC ATTACK!
[6:12:46 PM] SmashMan: ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM
[6:12:52 PM] SmashMan: I AM NEVER GOING TO HIT ANYTHING WITH THIS ATTACK EVER
[6:12:54 PM] SmashMan: BUT IT LOOKS COOL
Tsuyoi
Theme: 3 (x2) - A great example of the theme! ... Almost. He's not powerful and he somehow has more heels than Tank Snail.
Fun: 1 (x2) - I didn't like Tsuyoi in the slightest. He's basically "get close enough to sneeze on the opponent's pixels simulator".
Intuitive: 4 - Tsuyoi's bread-and-butter is clear cut, but I had to land a few punches to fully understand the combo mechanic.
Balance: 2 - His attack has less range than Viz, the class designed to not have range! Also, it does pitiful amounts of damage.
Originality: 3 - The combo is neat, but it's only for one move and the wimpy-ass move at that. Otherwise just another melee.
Aesthetics: 4 - If there IS something I can praise, it's the punch graphic. Took me a while to realize it was just gold Hard Knuckle.
Total: 22/40
[6:31:58 PM] SmashMan: mainfire is a punch with ungodly cooldown and the effective range of trying to poke your erect penis against some woman at the laundromat
[6:32:32 PM] SmashMan: if you somehow succeed in becoming a sexual predator, you are rewarded with an additional punch that comes out near-instantly, albeit still at the crappy range
Juri Kitai
Theme: 1 (x2) - I can't comprehend what Juri's heel is supposed to be. She's tanky as fuck with really good attacks.
Fun: 2 (x2) - Personally I thought Juri was pretty lame, probably due to the roaches being on auto-pilot. Also, the eyeballs thing.
Intuitive: 3 - She has roaches that sometimes darken enemies. Cool. also WHAT DO THE EYEBALLS MEEEEEEAAAAAANNNNNN
Balance: 1 - She has normal base speed, a stupidly-effective homing attack, an AoE melee, and Hard Armor. HARD ARMOR.
Originality: 3 - I would've never thought of a roach swarm attack, that's for sure. I also would've never thought of buzzing eyeballs.
Aesthetics: 2 - Why did you scale the roaches. They burn my eyeballs. Oh, and speaking of eyeballs... Eye. Balls. Eyeballs. Yeah.
Total: 15/40
Dick Spicer: okay like
Dick Spicer: facedunk me with deer alt
(KD complies)
Dick Spicer: Recov100
Dick Spicer: Recov40
Dick Spicer: I what
[7:07:54 PM] SmashMan: ... she has Hard Armor
[7:08:40 PM] SmashMan: I'm so done here
Knux
Theme: 5 (x2) - Feels powerful? Check. Very obvious gameplay weakness? Check. Weakness still relevant in gameplay? Check.
Fun: 5 (x2) - Holy Ass Hammers II: Return Of Ganon. Being able to super-jump and sticky-bomb people fills me with child-like wonder.
Intuitive: 5 - The charge arrows are clear, the mines are very obvious, and no attack is too complex or takes long to figure out.
Balance: 4 - Despite their punch, the arrows seem to do more damage to Knux than to enemies unless fully charged.
Originality: 4 - Archers are hard to make interesting, especially with bomb arrows. However, the bubble and mines were very unique.
Aesthetics: 5 - Despite being an edited GvH HUD, everything looks cool and clearly conveys its purpose. Very nice work!
Total: 38/40 !! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8EMndSFFMk)
[6:46:38 PM] SmashMan: alt-fire is insanely satisfying to use
[6:46:47 PM] SmashMan: it's basically a giant flying Bumper that sends people sailing into the distance
[6:47:01 PM] SmashMan: HOME-RUN CONTEST
Nature's Wonder Deer
Theme: 3 (x2) - The heel might as well be hiding out in an I SPY book somewhere. Once you find it, though, it makes sense.
Fun: 3 (x2) - I'm a fan of trap-type attacks; the main doesn't disappoint. The alt is Awesome, Yet Impractical most of the time.
Intuitive: 4 - The main and the alt are very clear-cut plug-n-play. The items... even offline, I didn't know there were three of them.
Balance: 3 - The crystal bomb hurts so bad you'll still be tasting it next week. Again, though, he doesn't feel too outrageous.
Originality: 4 - It's a refreshing take on a crystal theme. Changing crystal formations is neat, and the bomb is outright hilarious.
Aesthetics: 5 - Both attacks look fantastic, and the purpose of the crosshairs is very clear. Also, the HUD is incredibly stylish.
Total: 28/40
[6:57:49 PM] SmashMan: mainfire barfs up a bunch of crystals in a line
[6:58:09 PM] SmashMan: you can make a sideways line if your name is not King Dumb, and a plus-shaped formation if you play offline because the items don't work that well
[6:58:34 PM] SmashMan: oh deer what have I gotten myself into
Zard
Theme: 1 (x2) - I'm not giving him a zero simply because he still has the "powerful" part, and that the main fire somewhat fits.
Fun: 2 (x2) - Zard's destructive force is entertaining for some, but like with Juri, I'm personally turned off by Luigi's Super Guide.
Intuitive: 4 - As I also tested offline and in a private server, it took me a minute to realize why the alt sometimes stuck in the air.
Balance: 0 - And here I thought Juri was bad. This guy slaughters things faster than Terminator SpreadRune Centaur Flash.
Originality: 3 - Again, I got a huge kick out of Zard's main. The alt standing still when it doesn't have a target is also interesting.
Aesthetics: 3 - I realize not everyone can sprite or can get spriting help. That being said, there's nicer projectiles than Thunder Bolt.
Total: 16/40
[7:25:11 PM] SmashMan: Zard's a rapist are you kidding me
[7:25:25 PM] SmashMan: he will fuck you up
Zangief
Theme: 3 (x2) - He's certainly powerful, and certainly has drawbacks, but Zangief Copter and Atomic Buster sort of mask that.
Fun: 4 (x2) - Ignoring Atomic Buster (again, bias against "easy" attacks), Zangief is insanely satisfying to land grapples with.
Intuitive: 3 - I didn't realize he had two weapons until nearly the end of testing. Everything else is pretty easy to grasp.
Balance: 3 - Like I said in the full review, if you ignore Atomic Buster you have a pretty balanced class on your hands.
Originality: 2 - Grapplers in 8BDM are new, but being that the class is quite literally Zangief, I can't really give him high marks.
Aesthetics: 4 - The suplex changing colors in air made the differences much more noticeable. Awesome grapple animations.
Total: 26/40
[7:21:06 PM] SmashMan: Zangief's cooldowns most certainly have compensation
[7:21:17 PM] SmashMan: being not-Top-Spin alt and ATOMIC BUSTER
[7:21:20 PM] SmashMan: seriously
[7:21:31 PM] SmashMan: you can just Zangief Copter your way over to somebody
[7:21:42 PM] SmashMan: spin2win until you get dick-moisteningly close
[7:21:46 PM] SmashMan: and then Atomic Buster them
b-b-b-BONUS QUOTES
[6:36:18 PM] SmashMan: Tsuyoi is born with the unfortunate condition of having about three heels
[6:36:29 PM] SmashMan: when you really only needed one to enter the competition to begin with
[6:36:49 PM] SmashMan: even still it's rather impressive that he manages to have three heels
[6:36:58 PM] SmashMan: especially since he's only got two feet, anyway
[5:09:33 PM] Rozark Kyouko: Can he cook a steak with those ass thrusters
[5:10:11 PM] Rozark Kyouko: There's just a cooking competition with snails and they all use their ass thrusters to see who can cook the best tasting steak
[7:02:59 PM] SmashMan: she has some annoying-ass eyeball overlay thing on the screen all the time
[7:03:10 PM] SmashMan: unless you kill someone and then the eyeballs go away to have tea time or something
[7:04:38 PM] SmashMan: what's the heel here
[7:04:42 PM] SmashMan: aside from being annoying
[7:04:54 PM] SmashMan: the Blooper from Mario Kart is more polite than these eyeballs
[5:02:15 PM] Knux: How you got chosen as a judge is beyond my comprehension.
[5:02:19 PM] Knux: Must've been desperate
[5:02:29 PM] SmashMan: oLo then you'll be surprised with the review then