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« on: March 26, 2016, 10:09:25 PM »
Yo
First, let me shed a little light on the situation. The only reason I'm saying this in this thread is because it is here that everyone is looking right now. As you all know, after v4c, Korby and I inherited leadership over the development team. At around August, I essentially fell off the face of the Earth for a few months, until around Christmastime. Once 2016 rolled around, I once again fell off the face of the Earth, until about 5 days ago.
The causes of these were purely personal, nothing to do with anyone here. I do not pretend that personal reasons excuse my lack of leadership on the dev team due to absence, but I also do not regret what has happened. For my own personal well-being I felt I had to do what I did. I'm aware that such an empty reason is tired and abused, so if you really want to test my story or your own cynicism feel free to do so, but privately.
So I do believe I may be at fault for many of the complaints that appear not only in these preceding pages, but also for many I see across Skype and in-game. While I cannot regret my decisions for my own sake, since they were necessary for me, that doesn't mean I am not filled with shame for what I might have brought about (or, incidentally, failed to have brought about) for the community and the game that have given me so much. For my failures as a leader of the development team, I apologize, without hope or agenda.
I'm not so audacious as to assume I speak for the development team now, but Bikdark, even if those posting here disagree with you, I don't think they are ignoring you. I actually believe you may find progress, or at least resolution, in making a formal suggestion thread in pursuit of your idea(s) for patches to the game. At least in a suggestion thread, it becomes very clear when conversation derails.
Now, to address the rest of your platform, Musashi. Bikdark and OJ are not trying to take over MM8BDM as you seem to believe they are. I can guarantee you that. And to address a latent concern that has festered but never quite been mentioned publicly for many months: in the relatively brief time during which I was active as a leader of the team, my friendship with Bik and OJ never once compromised my professional integrity. I can also promise you that.
As for the rest of you, I will just say this. In my eyes, it is not the development team's job to entertain you. It is the development team's job to make MM8BDM great, and to make you want to play it. There is a difference. I feel some of what Bikdark has to say has been diluted by the conflation of the incompetence of one with the complacence of another. That is the cause behind the many different and often disparate complaints you see in these preceding pages. As for me, I see many prisoners sitting on top of their keys. There is an enormous apparatus in place here for community members to enjoy, and if it does not satisfy you, then move on. But I think some of you are missing the point.
Second, though I have been absent and would have held no grudge were my duties already revoked, my name is still green and so I have a responsibility to this forum. If I see any more name-calling or personal insults I will feel that the discussion needs to be ended. As it stands now some of you are hovering near or even past moderator action. Per Llama's call the discussion can continue, but only modulo its ability to stay within the rules.
P.S.:
(This has not much to do with the above, but seeing as this is my first post in a very long time I feel the need to make some sort of statement.)
Third, and to continue on some of what I mentioned in my first point, I want to reiterate this. I never lost my passion for MM8BDM. I still believe I have a wealth of knowledge about the game, what works, what doesn't, what sucks, what doesn't, etc. I still believe I see a path forward to making MM8BDM even more fun than it already is, and I still believe in myself as a leader. When, yesterday, the pursuit I bet the last 9 months of my life on (not to mention the next 50) didn't pay off, and I was left alone, physically in shock, and lost, what did I do? I played MM8BDM. In what was absolutely the lowest point of my life, playing MM8BDM was the first and only thing I considered doing. My point in telling you this is not for pity, for I absolutely hate 'being vulnerable' and never will be again, but to tell you yes, I still care about this game, and yes, I still think of you all as very good friends.
That being said, while I do know MM8BDM like the back of my hand, my performance in the last 8 months cannot be ignored. Nor can I ignore that I do not see my own path forward at this time, in life (and, in case you didn't already know, Cutstuff is part of my life). For that reason, though the statement is of little value after 8 months of absence, I do resign, at least for now, from my position on the development team, until my new place here and my new path can be determined.
I'll probably be around and playing though. If the trend set by last night continues then I certainly will be.
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