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Anything Goes / I'm gonna get ad-hominem'd so hard
« on: June 20, 2016, 11:56:28 PM »
I'll be pretty direct about this, Stonefunk. Long anecdote incoming, so it'll be spoilered for your convenience.
(click to show/hide)
Any long-term negative attention directed towards someone or something in online communities usually has rhyme and reason to it. I would know, because I've been on the receiving end of it many times.
7 or 8 years ago, I was a socially inept, awkward as hell, hot-headed (much more-so than I am now), teenager, which caused me more than enough problems IRL and online. Nobody took me seriously. Hell, plenty people here can vividly attest to what a pain in the ass I was when I first joined this community (oh lawdy). I took my turn being the lolcow of the month in 8bdm and cutstuff. I wasn't being bullied, I deserved to be treated with disrespect since I wasn't treating anyone well myself. How did I fix it? I realized that most people saw me as a brash, rude, childish idiot. Instead of taking that as an insult, I worked to solve those problems. Instead of begging for people to like me, I did what I could to make myself likable, just by acting like a functional human being and recognizing my flaws. It didn't get everyone to like me, but it at least made it so that I could start leveling with people, which was good enough for me.
Now, that brings me to the big-bad Skype groups that keep getting blamed for cliques and bullying. The two most popular ones owned by Tengu and Freeman aren't these hive minds that they're often made out to be. They're fairly inclusive, and new people get invited in periodically so long as they're known to be generally well-behaved. In addition, they're not drama free within themselves. They still have their share of arguments and disagreements. They're just chat groups for people to hang out in, and that's all. Moving along to how you make out Fr3ak to be a victim of the Tenguchat: while it's true that there was some bad blood between some members of that group, those conflicts have died down immensely over the years. As much flak as I like to give Fr3ak, I think it's fair to say that he's at least learned to mind himself a bit. Additionally, the people that he's had conflicts with, especially the one who had the worst opinion of him, actively made an effort to stop engaging and provoking him some time ago.
People aren't perfect, though. We'll always have conflicts of interest, and that's ok, because it's what makes us individuals instead of this robotic hive mind. You don't have to be friends with every single person you're around, and just because somebody simply has no interest in you doesn't mean that they hate your guts and want you gone. Try not to take things so personally, especially on the internet, where hardly anything is.
And as an added bonus:
7 or 8 years ago, I was a socially inept, awkward as hell, hot-headed (much more-so than I am now), teenager, which caused me more than enough problems IRL and online. Nobody took me seriously. Hell, plenty people here can vividly attest to what a pain in the ass I was when I first joined this community (oh lawdy). I took my turn being the lolcow of the month in 8bdm and cutstuff. I wasn't being bullied, I deserved to be treated with disrespect since I wasn't treating anyone well myself. How did I fix it? I realized that most people saw me as a brash, rude, childish idiot. Instead of taking that as an insult, I worked to solve those problems. Instead of begging for people to like me, I did what I could to make myself likable, just by acting like a functional human being and recognizing my flaws. It didn't get everyone to like me, but it at least made it so that I could start leveling with people, which was good enough for me.
Now, that brings me to the big-bad Skype groups that keep getting blamed for cliques and bullying. The two most popular ones owned by Tengu and Freeman aren't these hive minds that they're often made out to be. They're fairly inclusive, and new people get invited in periodically so long as they're known to be generally well-behaved. In addition, they're not drama free within themselves. They still have their share of arguments and disagreements. They're just chat groups for people to hang out in, and that's all. Moving along to how you make out Fr3ak to be a victim of the Tenguchat: while it's true that there was some bad blood between some members of that group, those conflicts have died down immensely over the years. As much flak as I like to give Fr3ak, I think it's fair to say that he's at least learned to mind himself a bit. Additionally, the people that he's had conflicts with, especially the one who had the worst opinion of him, actively made an effort to stop engaging and provoking him some time ago.
People aren't perfect, though. We'll always have conflicts of interest, and that's ok, because it's what makes us individuals instead of this robotic hive mind. You don't have to be friends with every single person you're around, and just because somebody simply has no interest in you doesn't mean that they hate your guts and want you gone. Try not to take things so personally, especially on the internet, where hardly anything is.
And as an added bonus:
Quote from: "Emmanuelf06"
Have fun with your mods guys.
If people can't handle a community, better to separated, i think. (:
You can start by cutting out this stupid routine of starting arguments and walking away with a fake smile tacked on to your closing remark. It's incredibly annoying, it doesn't add to your point whatsoever, and it makes it look like you just aren't willing to accept other peoples' word.
