I know a bunch of people who used to be a bully, and they're all remorseful about it. I respect them greatly for that.
It sucks. It really does. I go as far as completely hating who I used to be. I don't get how I could be such an asshole to people. My Mom always said I would regret these things later, but I was a naïve little bastard and basically lived for the moment alone. Either I didn't believe her, or I simply did not care. I never had any consideration for the people I endlessly teased, and I must have made them hate school. I didn't beat people up for nothing, mind you, but words are also hurtful, especially if you get to hear them all the time.
On a not-so-related note, I remember that one time a good friend of mine made a friend of his cry. This was maybe in third grade. My friend felt really bad about it, and he told me to hurt
him to make up for it. So, what did I do? Oh yes, I freakin' threw him around. A friend of mine. He told me so I did it. What the hell was I thinking? Seriously? I find it so hard to believe I could ever do such a thing. What did I accomplish by making him cry as well? Other KIDS had to tell me to stop. I was not nice as a kid whatsoever, seemingly lacking consideration entirely. I could regret things later on, but I just did awful things all the time. I don't get how I could even have friends. I appreciate that fact a lot now.
That guy in particular remained my best friend for probably 5 years (before he moved away, pretty much. He only moved like 30 minutes away, but it was enough to make us not hang out anymore...probably haven't seen him for 4-5 years now). We hung out ALL the freakin' time. Every day for several weeks in a row, often sleeping over at his place and shit like that. Skipping school to hang out, play games & skateboard. I really don't think I will ever have such a friend again.
I really wish I could just do it all over again, as the person I am today.
/end QQ story
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