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« on: August 08, 2015, 12:33:44 AM »
I don't really have a problem right now but I do have something I'd like to express and mention, I guess.
I noticed lately that I've been unusually..moody, I guess you could put it. I've had less patience with other people, I've been a bit more brusque and possibly rude to others and as a whole have just been rather touchy. Things that used to bother me a little have instead bothered me a lot, things that I usually give a pass and ignore now frustrate me a great deal, etc. I think this is mostly due to stuff in my outside life giving me a lot of stress and pressure and not having a whole lot of personal time to myself and my thoughts. I had been quite stressed and depressed in the past couple of weeks (and occasionally feeling lonely, odd considering how socially exhausted I had felt) and it just overall played a great deal on my mood and disposition. Even if I did manage to be happy for a bit, it wouldn't last long and the slightest thing would make me huffy and prickly again.
However, recently I was having a conversation with someone, and they told me that I was probably the nicest person they had ever met on cutstuff. That statement made me think about the rather touchy attitude I've had recently and I started to feel really bad right then and there. Being called nice yet not feeling like you've been a nice person in recent times..I felt undeserving. I try to make it a focus to be an amicable and helpful person at all times regardless of what's going on in my personal life, but I've kinda slipped up a lot and let my issues take control of the way I behaved. I want to be nice. I want to make people smile and laugh, not frown. I want to befriend people, not push them away or antagonize. It's just been a bit difficult lately somehow. I'm trying to get out of it.
So in the end I guess I'm just trying to apologize to people I might have hurt or made uncomfortable or just overall irked with my moodiness.
yeah
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