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« on: May 20, 2014, 06:57:07 PM »
I've learned a lot about myself through the past four years that I've been on Cutstuff.
I'd like to consider 2010 and 2011 my awkward years with this community, and although I had a lot of fun, they were also years of personal ambition and social awkwardness, and I don't like to talk or think much about those times.
2012 is probably the year that I'd like to say I improved, yet it's also another year I'd like to forget about. I recall my ego being somewhat developed, yet very distant and cold towards others who I usually don't talk to and rather not accepting towards certain people or opinions. I also remember being stupid paranoid about people and the relationships I was in at the time which wasn't fun for either party involved.
2013 I feel would fit better as a year of improvement. I engaged myself more in things I thought awkward and tried a little harder to empathize with people in the community, gaining more respect towards either people or material my brain wouldn't bother to accept in the past. Part of it was graduating and maturing into an adult, due to it being my senior year (and later my first year into college).
As of now I'd like to say I'm on good terms with a lot of people, making a lot of friends throughout the time I've been here, and having a better understanding of where my weaknesses lie along with a better handling of some of my idiosyncrasies, in general. I'm still regretful for some of my actions in the past, and I'm trying hard not to make the same mistakes again. I'd like to say I've developed into a more controlled person emotionally and mentally, trying to look at situations more from both sides for a better understanding. I still overthink and over-commit to things a little too much, and my sense of self-deprecation clings onto me like a brick at times, but those are problems that I acknowledge and hope to fix later on in my life.
Oh, and I found a plethora of music that I listen to on a daily basis, my TF2 skills increased to above average level, and I'm enjoying fighting games a lot.
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