The Love Affair Between Kirbu and Wil! (story by Wil)

[RainsLikeSnow]

What is wrong with us, well that is just it nothing is wrong with us because we are awesome enough to make day dream stories about the forum and MM8BDM

[Wil]

Chapter 4

It was, of course, Wil.

"Kirbu, I realize this now! I love you forever!" Wil exclaimed, slamming Kirbu's head into the ground repeatedly.

"Really?! You do!?" Kirbu cried, both because he was excited and because the pain in the back of his head was horrifying.

Phoba looked over briefly, concluded that they were both busy looking into each other's eyes with a slavish look, and ran like hell. He slammed into a wall in his epic fury to escape, and managed to flop through it by noclipping. He then went to the skybox and began spawning Mettaurs like a noob.

Wil and Kirbu continued to look into eachother's eyes with a slavish look for 40 minutes before making out bizzarely and quite homosexually. Kirbu reached for Wil's Tengu Blade, but Wil warded him off. "I am not gay, bro."

They then continued to make out.

They lay there for many thousands of milliseconds before suddenly the moderator of the server realized what the hell they were doing and they were both permabanned forever.

Being permabanned forever means you are thrust (lol) from the server and then must go into a new one. But where would Wil be? thought Kirbu. The first server he tried was empty. And another. Kirbu cried.

But suddenly, a hand touched his shoulder! He started and looked around, and it someone who he had never ever expected to see again oh dear

TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN

[Korby]

WHO COULD IT BE. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

[Wil]

Chapter 5

It was Sonic the Hedgehog!!!

"Sonic the Hedgehog?! What the hell are you doing here?!" Kirbu said, falling back to a nearby wall.
"Well, little buddy, I'm here because you've gone around the bend!" Sonic said, taking a seat on a chair that wasn't there before.
"Excuse me?"
"You've gone insane, and you're hallucinating my existence."
"Oh. Well, that sucks." Kirbu slowly inched down the wall until he sat down.
"Not necessarily. Now you've got a cool guy to hang out with!" Sonic leaned forward in his chair, a bizzare longing in his eyes.
"I wish I was hanging out with Wil..." Kirbu looked away, staring at a Big Eye that was randomly stomping around the background.
"Well, the thing is, kid, Fall Wil is kind of a loser. You need to set your bar a little higher!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean he's kind of a loser."
"How can you say that?!" Kirbu jumped up, prepared to attack the hedgehog that didn't exist.
"Fall Wil isn't good enough for you! You're a pretty cool guy. Eh, is gay and doesn't afraid of anything."
"What did that mean?"
"I don't know, you're the one putting words into my mouth I suck cocks."
"Oh, sorry." He sat back down.
"Whatever, man. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you should get over Fall Wil. Maybe you should go hook up with Brotoad again or something."
"I don't think he'll want to talk to me after the last time we met..."
"Well, then force him to talk to you."
"You want me to rape him!?" Kirbu said, looking alarmed.
"No, I want you to talk to him. What the hell are you talking about."
"I can't even remember if Brotoad is a boy or a girl..."
"We all make that mistake sometimes."
"Yeah, like that time in Beirut."
"Yeah."
"Yep."
There was a long silence.
"So, good luck with Fall Wil, guy." Sonic started fading away.
"Wait!" Kirbu said, putting out a hand to possibly cause Sonic to stop disintegrating. "Why do you call him Fall Wil?"
Sonic didn't answer, but continued to fade away until he disappeared entirely. Kirbu sat back down and thought about life, the universe, and everything.

TO BE CONTINUED AGAINx4

[Korby]

...what.

[Wil]

...what.

the one where kirbu goes insane

[Wil]

Chapter 6

Wil was shouting. He was shouting because he jumped out a seven story window. He jumped out a seven story window because he found out what he was doing in the building. What he was doing in the building was a male.

Wil woke up quite suddenly that day, wondering where he was and how he got there, since the last thing he could remember was going to a Roboenza server, and then everyone there decided to go get drinks. He figured he went with them... but where was he now? He was roused form this thought by becoming aware that he was sharing his bed with Korby.

And that's why Wil jumped out of the window without looking. He now realized he wasn't directly next to the ground, but rather his fall would be so long that he could say 'blimey, this fall is long' without splattering into the pavement. He didn't say this, however.

Anyway, he was falling. Nothing below him but street and trees. He smacked into one of the trees, and tumbled down to the ground, where he slammed into the pavement hard. He then was flopped onto his front into the street, where he was promptly run over.

He respawned in the hotel room he just left, momentarily bewildered. He suddenly realized that he was, of course, just a character in a Doom 2 hack. He quietly left the room with Korby still sleeping, and crept down to the elevator.

To his surprise, the elevator was not working. It refused to go down any floors, but was happy to suddenly spring him 6 floors up without stopping. He jammed the ground floor button and then was brought 2 more floors up before quitting.

And so, he took to the stairs. Eventually he decided to just walk down low enough to jump without dying, which was the fifth floor, and so he did. And then he got ran over by a car again.

He respawned in the hotel room again, pissed off to all hell. He looked over at the sleeping Korby and had a thought. He picked up Korby and threw him out the window. A minute later, Korby had respawned in the hotel room, shocked and shaking like crazy. Before he would even see the laughing face of Wil, Wil was gone.

This time, he decided to walk all the way down to the ground floor. Then he got a bus to a server terminal, wondering where to go now, what he had been doing last night, how he ended up in a hotel room with Korby, and why he had vague memories of a figure with whom he had been making out with.

TO BE CONTINUED A MILLION TIMES

[Wil]

Chapter 7 - Kirbu

Kirbu was shouting. He was shouting because someone kicked him in the groin. Someone kicked him in the groin because Kirbu was hitting on them. He was hitting on them because he was lonely.

It all began when Kirbu went to a bar to try and pick up guys. He quickly found out that this was, in fact, a straight bar. 'Hmmm...' Kirbu thought. 'Mayhaps I can attempt being attracted to women. That would be hilarious.' The Sonic in the back of his head nodded his approval.

He walked up to the nearest woman and said, "Did you come from the moon? Because you look out of this world!". This was the point where he got kicked in the groin, rather forcefully, he would personally add. He was also personally add that he did not cry at all.

Crying uncontrollably, whimpering, shaking, and crushed, Kirbu pulled himself up to the nearest bar and ordered a Sprite. He continued to cry, whimper, shake, and be crushed as he drank his Sprite, and afterwords he was suddenly a god of sex and believed he could do anything!

He ran up to a different lady and said, "Ne. Yaranaika?" They were both confused about this. Kirbu slowly started to creep away, but the lady suddenly said, "You're from Japan!?!"

She started flipping out and wringing Kirbu's hand, who was now throughly confused. "I've been looking for someone from Japan for a long time on here! But there's, like, nobody at all on here that's not American. Come with me!" She screamed, pulling Kirbu with her out of the bar to who knows where.

Like Wil, Kirbu's next memory was that of waking up in a hotel with a mysterious and sexy person, this time a neurotic lady. As he looked around, dizzy, he noticed she was already awake, and making notes on a clipboard. "W-what happened... last night..." He said, still woozy from the alcohol he couldn't remember consuming.

"You helped me out a lot, Mr. Kirbu!" She beamed at him. "I've been trying to have sex with every nationality ever! You just made my list 50% complete!" Kirbu digested this, but while he was doing that, she was already leaving.

"Wait! Where are you going?" He asked her, scared and confused of what lurked outside of this room. She looked back at him, confused. "I'm going to look for a Chinese guy to screw his brains out. Then I'll rate his performance and other things on my list." She briefly showed him the list, and he noted it had many bizarre qualifications on it.

She made for the door again, but Kirbu spoke up again. "Who are you?" He asked, and she looked around again. "I can't tell you, since this is illegial according to the laws of the world."

And then she left for real.

Kirbu lay back on the comfy bed shaped like a heart. He was just used by a woman for sex, what was he to think about it? And he didn't even remember a second of the action itself, but the thought of it made him feel fuzzy inside. After a while, he got up and looked out the window, wondering, like Wil, where to go from here.

[Wil]

Chapter 8 - Wil

Wil was thrust from his thoughts by an explosion. He slammed his head into a wall and became unconscious. When he awoke, he was in a prison cell.

Wil looked around, dazed and confused. Also in the cell was someone who he identified as a member he didn't know, and also Korby. Korby jerked awake shortly after Wil looked at him. Seconds later, Wil was being pushed against a wall with Korby's hand firmly on his throat.

"Why did you throw me out of that window?! That hurt, you know..." He said indignantly. Wil was unable to reply, as he was being strangled. Korby released him. "Sorry, I was pissed off. Get over it." Wil said, walking over to the bars, massaging his neck. They were in a small box-like building, with half of the space being a rusty jail cell and the other half consisting of a dozing security guard and a bottle of E-Tank. "Where are we?" He said.

The member that Wil didn't recognize that he now realized was Phoba spoke up, "They're terrorists or something." Wil looked back at the sleeping security. "Terrorists?" He looked around, quickly realizing there was no way to escape but through that door.

"Yeah. You guys fell unconscious on the bus, but I was able to not hit a wall. They all rushed in and grabbed everyone who looked interesting... us three. I heard them talking while I was pretending to be asleep. They want to hold us hostage for some company to send them money to release us." Phoba said, looking at his own hands with mild interest.

"What do they want with us? None of us are important enough to be ransom money..." Wil said, but he noticed Korby was looking worried. "What's up?" Korby turned to face him. "I think... I think they're after me."

"My brother runs the most successful Server Terminal in Bass Sector, I guess they went to get me, and got you two as bonuses in case my bro wants to give away some more money." Korby sat on a bench, deep in thought. Wil was as well. How was there a way for him to get out of here? Korby's brother might pay for his release, but to imply that he would even consider paying for the release of him and Phoba was laughable. They would be dead within the hour of the deal finishing.

Outside, three amateur gangsters sat around playing cards. They sent out their message and a picture of their prisoners a while back, and were now waiting for a reply. These guys were criminals, but none of them really knew what they were doing. They were mostly running off of the confused guidance of their leader, Rourke. Suddenly, the phone rang.

They scrambled for the phone before Rourke pushed the rest away and answered it. "I believe you have gotten our messages, Korbi?" He said slyly. He paced around, and said, "Yes. .... If you don't have 100,000 dollars here in 24 hours, all the hostages die. .... Well- .... Yes. .... 5,000 each for the spares. .... Okay, okay. .... We don't take bribes, Mr. Korbi. And if you call the cyber police, ya done goofed because we will kill your brother. Call us back when you have the mo-" Another explosion.

The small building was in crumbles, and out of the rubble came Phoba, Korby, and Wil, the latter two holding handguns. Wil held up a half-crumbled brick. "Hey! Maybe you should lock your weapons room, and not position your guard directly next to the cell!" He threw the brick at the oncoming other terrorist, who was knocked cold. The second one hesitated, before running.

Rourke stood frozen, looking at the burning wreckage of the jail cell. His first thought was that he wondered why they blew up the jail building. Now that he thought about it, his operation really was sophomore. He didn't have much time to think about it, since Korby plunged a bullet through his heart.

"Korby, what the hell?! We weren't supposed to kill him!!" Wil shouted, looking around at all the burning wreckage.
"I don't like being kidnapped. It's not really something I enjoy." Korby said, looking dazed at the sound his gun made.
"Shut up!" Wil yelled, locating a parked car a while away.

"Let's take that car and get out of here! If the police show up and find three dudes carrying glocks with two bodies and a burning building, they won't take kindly to it." He said, storming over to the car.

"Where do we go now?" Phoba asked. For the second time that day, Wil had no answer to that question. He just got into the car and started hotwiring it. Korby and Phoba looked at each other and got in too.

[Max]

...what the hell is wrong with you?

[Lio]

Oh wow, haha. I just suddenly felt like checking out this thread to read a bit. Amazing stuff~ Thanks for the laughs, this was pretty entertaining in a way.
Like everyone else said, good thing I'm not depicted here. :P

[Camo Yoshi]

...what the hell is wrong with you?

[brotoad]

maybe nothing is wrong with him and it's all of you who have something wrong with yourselves!

[Max]

Brotoad's got something wrong with him too.

[Camo Yoshi]

Yep. Call the mental hospital...