that one Dissidia thread in the corner

[Hallan Parva]

This is a thread I made so I can stop harassing everyone in the Spamthread.

... In reality, I think only EK, Korby and I will ever use this space, but oh well!


DISCUSS THINGS HERE
as long as they're not named Bartz

[Dr. Freeman]

Stop loving Onion Knight!
No, just kidding.
Anyway, I guess I should warn you of the two bosses in the 000 story (Which is very very VERY non linear) I won't tell you who it is, (They're the same thing, only one is a manikin and has less HP) The manikin has an item that makes it so after 60 seconds its defense goes up so high that you can't deal any brave damage. Oh and he has around 60,000 HP.
And the 2nd one has a better moveset, doesn't have that item and has 125,000 HP.
I'll say it again, make sure you have 5 mains.

[Hallan Parva]

I don't want to sound like a cliche jerk but the game sort of makes you "main" certain characters. The top row six instantly come in mind.

Out of the top six I'm only keeping Laguna and Tifa though (maybe Vaan because ground AND aerial rapid attack PLUS chase is insanely broken and easily exploitable). I played Laguna before I unlocked his story (like I did OK) because I thought he was a really cool guy (also like OK), and Tifa's uppercuts are extremely sexy.

Also there's an EXTREMELY easy blue portal to grind KP from in the first half of Tifa's 012 chapter. Buy a Multichain from the Moogle Shop next door, enter portal, use Multichain, abuse the crap out of Falcon Kick Burning Arrow. Rinse and repeat for an easy 25 KP (or a +15 KP net gain).

[Dr. Freeman]

You won't be forced to play as the top row 6 in story mode again for...obvious reasons.
The only ones that the game doesn't really let you play as are the villains, so I recommend that you just try them all out on Free Play.
Also,  I agree with Laguna, but I'm not just that good with Tifa.

[Rozark]

my level 100 gilgamesh and level 18 golbez beat feral chaos. just those 2.
Just saying, it took me awhile.

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THANK YOU MAGIC POT LOLOL

@ smashbros: i have proved your statement wrong about who all will be posting  

[Hallan Parva]

HOLY SHIT A NEW POST

I've been playing around with the villains so far, and I'm taking a liking to Kefka (THE KING OF SPAM), Sir Jecht (THE KING OF SEQUENCE BREAKING), and to a lesser extent Cloud of Darkness (THE KING QUEEN OF FRICKIN' UNDODGEABLE LASER BEAMS).

Kefka is hilariously broken because I can sweep max AI bots AND my human friends just by mashing A in midair. God I love that homing attack so much -- made even better with the name Wiggle-Wobbly Firaga.

Sir Jecht is pretty cool as well. Sure, he lacks any sort of distance attack whatsoever, and his movepool is extremely limited -- but he excels at using the few tools he has. In my opinion, the three Bravery and two HP attacks is enough to work with, especially since (with the exception of Jecht Beam) they all have the COMBO tag, allowing you to change the final hit with directional input. Sometimes I want a large order of Wall Rush, and other times I feel like using Chase. Even better, if you charge the attacks Sir Jecht can break opponent sequences AND interrupt guards. Sir Jecht must be determined to have the final say in what goes on during battle, heh.

As for Cloud of Darkness... really, I only like her for her simple-to-use and easily exploitable HP attacks. Her catalogue of tentacle techniques is a bit unsatisfying for a person used to gun-toting laser-summoning sniper-rifling GREATEST-ATTACK-EVER-wielding ladies' men playboys, sword-swinging head-butting rugged-beard-sporting badasses, and insane rainbow-clad jesters bent on the total destruction of the universe. The fact that her long-distance Bravery attacks are close to nonexistent (and the few she has are a bit unwieldy to use) doesn't help the problem.



My current mains are:
TIFA LOCKHART, the scantily-clad heroine of Cycle 012 and a self-proclaimed master of the Zangan technique
KEFKA PALAZZO, who is so insanely awesome he has his very own rap
LAGUNA LOIRE, the man with the plan who scores on all the sexy ladies -- OW LEG CRAMP GOD DAMN IT
SIR JECHT, my personal knight in shining armour with the greatest combos known to man
and last but not least, ONION KNIGHT the boy hero with an amazing physical attack / magic spell duality


I literally came up with these lyrics in under 8 minutes
DON'T LOOK AAAAAAAAHHHHH YOUR EYES WILL BLEED

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Palazzo the mad jester
show you who's better than best-er
he messed 'er with his fiery blitz
sometimes it homes sometimes it splits
his thunder bolts are quite tricky too
he landed a hit now TIME TO CHASE YOU
damn dem ice shards are so large
got defense-barge 'cause he's in charge
we're building up dat Bravery
such a very big number you've ever seen
hey not too bad, you dodged a few
OH SNAP assist just stunlocked you
I hope you're packin' Ilfa Dew
'cuz if you're not he's gonna END YOU
here comes that dash, float down then sting
THE FINAL BLOW with Havoc Wing!

KEFKA ON THE FIELD, BRO. PEACE OUT.

[Dr. Freeman]

So 2 years ago on GameFaqs. I made a parody of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" on the Dissidia 012 forums.
And this was the final result.
Oh and this is relevant cause it's a Dissidia related parody.

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Every Hero and Villain in Dissidia Ville liked Christmas a lot
But Exdeath in the Rift north of Dissidia Ville did not

Exdeath hated Christmas! Everything about it
Now please don't ask why or I'll throw a fit.
It could be that he was sealed up for to long
Or that he saw Kuja wearing that freakin thong
But I think the most likely reason of all
was that his heart was over 9000 times too small

But whatever the reason
The Thong or the sealing
He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the feeling
Staring from the rift with a evil frown
The Fire Spells lighting up the town
For he knew every Hero down in Dissidia Ville beneath
was busy now hanging up there wreath

" HURF DURF And they're hanging their item bags" he said with a sneer
"Tomorrow is Christmas its almost here!"
Then he growled with his armored fingers nervously drumming
"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming"
For tomorrow he knew
All the Boy warriors and girl warriors too
Would wake up and put on their shoes
Then open up their armor, and swords, staffs as well
And then the bells, OH the Bells Bells Bells
The one thing he hated the Bells BELLS BELLS BELLS (maybe was defeated by a geomancer?)

Then the Warriors Young and Old would get up and fight!
and they'd fight, and fight
And They'd fight fight FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
First they would target Vaan who Garland would knock down
Making the Warriors of Cosmos wear a big frown

and THEN
Shinryu would do something Exdeath knew it was meant to offend
He would start the whole damn cycle all over again!
The Warriors would get up one by one
and only then would they start the worst part of the "fun"

They would start making Tier lists
and they'd list list list LIST LIST
And the more Exdeath thought of the eventual Tier List
The more he thought "I must get rid of this Sh*t"
"Why for thousands of years I've put up with this now"
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming...but how?"

Then he got an idea
An evil Idea
Exdeaht got an wonderful, evil idea
"I know just what to do" he said like the sound of a out of tune lute
And he made a quick Santa Claus Suit
And he chuckled "What a Great Evil Trick"
"With this suit I look just like Saint Nick!"

All I need is a Chocobo...
Exdeath looked around
But since Chocobo's are not in the rift there were none to be found
Did that stop the old tree?
NO! Exdeath merely said
"If I can't find a Chocobo I'll make one instead"
So He called his minion GILGAMESH, then took some red thread
and tied a yellow feather to the top of his head!

Then
he loaded a Portal to the void
and a Flower he named Lloyd
On a ramshackle Sleigh
And tied up GILGAMESH

Then Exdeath said "MOVE FASTER GILGAMESH"
and the sleigh went down
Towards the homes of the Fighters
Where they turned off there lighters
   
All their windows were dark. Quiet Snow filled the air
And Firion was dreaming his dream without a care
When he came to the first house of the square
"This is stop number I" The old tree hissed.
And he climbed to the roof pimp cane in his fist

Then he teleported down the Chimney not hard at all
If only Santa knew of this clever trick he wouldn't have to make the fall
He would have got stuck if it wasn't for this
Then he stuck is head out of the Fireplace mist
Where the little item bags laid up in a row
"These Bags" He said "are the first things to go"

Then he teleported around with a smile most unpleasant
Around the room and looked at every present
Swords, Staffs, Turtles, Pears
Spears, Ex cores, and pairs of underwear!
And with one swift motion they all were gone
into the void is where they belong

Then he slunk into the Wardrobe and took all the swords
He took the Raipier, and even Excalibur
He sent them all to the void as quick as can be
Why he even got rid of the last Remedy

Then he shut the void with glee
Now I just need to take care of this Tree

Exdeath took the tree very carefully
not wanting to hurt one of his colony
opened up the void but he heard a sound
one of the Heroes began to get up with a frown
Little Tidus whose maturity was not above 2

Exdeath has been caught by this young lad
Who'd got out of bed to rant about his dad
He started at Exdeath and said "Santa claus Why?
"*sniff* why are to taking our tree WHY"

But Exdeath being the loser he is
just sucked him up in the void along with the tree
doing that to Tidus filled him with glee!

Then the last thing he took was a Ether to cast fire
then he teleported up the chimney somehow hitting a tire
On the walls left were nothing but a Wire

And the one speck of Potion
that he left in the house
much to small for even a mouse

Then he did the same to the other Dissidians houses

Leaving Items much to small for the other mouses!

It was a Quarter past dawn
Everyone was still in bed
As Exdeath put him cane back in the sled
3000 feet up on the way to the rift
He rode to the tiptop to watch it
"HURF DURF to the Heroes and Villains" he was evil-ly humming
"They're finding out no Christmas is coming!"
"They're wake up and I know what there do"
"They will go up to eachother and say "F*ck you!""

"That's a sound" Grinned Exdeath
"I must simply hear!"
So he paused and put a hand up to his non existant ear
and he heard a sound over the snow
It started low but it started to grow

But the sound wasn't mad
It was merry
It couldn't be so
but it was merry very!

Every Dissidian young or small
Was making tier lists. Without Fighting and all
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming
IT CAME
Somehow or another it came just the same

Exdeath sighing said "Forget this"
as he lifted up his fist
and the whole town got sucked into the void
even his thing named Lloyd

And Exdeath laughed and went on his merry way
GILGAMESH just stood there confused as he may

THE END

[Hallan Parva]

That is the best thing I have ever seen.

The best part was the pimp cane.

[Rozark]

A few spelling errors, but..

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THAT WAS AWESOME!

[Shmeckie]

A Dissidia thread? Nifty! I actually play the game competitively, off-and on. Got invited to the communty's "back room" and everything.

I primarily use the villains, myself, particularly the cool ones. Exdeath being my main, with Garland as my secondary, and Kefka, Emperor, Gilgamesh, Sephiroth and Golbez as my backup. I've always found the hero characters to be pretty boring overall (Laguna being the exception), but the villains?

You don't mess with those guys. >:D

[Hallan Parva]

Shmeckie! Of all people, I expected you the least. (No offense.)

The villains are certainly really cool, and I can agree that SOME of the heroes are pretty much the same "sword sword sword WHOOP NOW WE HAVE A MIDAIR RANGED ATTACK" bread and butter... SOME of them. The aforementioned Laguna is REALLY fun to play, and Onion Knight is more of a close-ranged combo fighter. He lacks the power most characters have (most hits only do about 2 damage, to be honest) but he can lock you into some devastating combos upwards of 40 hits.

Honorable mention for interesting heroes goes to Cecil Harvey (with his dual classes gimmick) and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (because he STEALS EVERYONE'S COOL MOVES, you douche). Lightning is also pretty cool but I rarely use anything outside of the Commando Paradigm so I didn't think she qualifies.

If I had money I would buy that damn network cable just to play you guys.

[Sora]

Everyone knows go Cloud or go home

but I do like how Tidus and Vaan play, though.

[Shmeckie]

I've been a FF fan since FF1 for the NES was new. Though recent mope-tastic games have caused me to drift away from the series (and with FF13, it's gotten to a point of almost self-parody). But the prospect of beating the hell out of these bishie losers using the FF series' host of evil badasses? I was sold from day 1 game 1. Especially the prospect of playing as the great and mighty EXDEATH!

The heroes are more balanced in terms of their pros vs. their cons. The villains work in extremes, where they're much stronger in their pro areas, but have bigger weaknesses. Garland, for example, is Cloud on steroids but with way slower speed. But due to his way bigger weapon, priority, and damage output, he murders Cloud in a matchup sense. Especially on the ground.

And then there's Exdeath; he who dominates the game.

Don't know why you hate Bartz so much. Dude's the best FF protagonist there ever was. No angst, no whining, no mopey crap, just a lovable doofus.

[Sora]

Don't know why you hate Bartz so much. Dude's the best FF protagonist there ever was. No angst, no whining, no mopey crap, just a lovable doofus.

Zidane says hi

except he got a terrible voice actor in Dissidia, so never mind.

[Dr. Freeman]

Don't know why you hate Bartz so much. Dude's the best FF protagonist there ever was. No angst, no whining, no mopey crap, just a lovable doofus.

Zidane says hi

except he got a terrible voice actor in Dissidia, so never mind.

That doesn't stop him from being the best protagonist!

"Ooh Soft!"