How to Write a Forum Post

[Myroc]

Greetings. I am Myroc. If you frequent this community, chances are that you are aware of my existence and, by extent, my verbosity and expansive vocabulary. I am here to utilize both in order to provide a small tutorial on something that I feel most users take for granted: How to write a forum post that people would not actually mind to fucking read. So here are four small steps to follow that should enhance everyone's cutstuff experience.



1. You are not in a hurry.

Forums are not chatrooms. Where-as conversations in online chat clients are generally fairly quick and to the point, forums are for extended discussion, and a reasonable amount of effort should be put behind posts. Take your time writing these things. I'm not saying you should spend half an hour for every post you write, but at the very fucking least you should spend a minute or two to ensure that the post is of decent quality. Unless your loved ones are dying horribly at the hands of eldritch abominations from beyond time or space (or similarly urgent situtations), you don't really have an excuse to half-ass it, even for shorter posts. (In which case, you likely have more urgent things to do than posting on forums.)

This is not an online game where you have only a few seconds to warn your teammate about the vast number of people with pointy implements around the corner. This is an internet forum. Our posts aren't going anywhere. This is a basic rule that permeates all the others.



2. Capitalization and punctuation.

Right. I know that a lot of people here aren't native english speakers. Not everyone has a perfect grasp of the language, especially concerning the grammar. Nine Hells, even I fuck up from time to time. There are, however, a few basic rules when it comes to writing that are more or less universal, and among those things are capitalization and punctuation (of which, to my knowledge, only those dastardly spaniards defy, and even then they have similar conventions). Taking your time and ensuring that sentences use correct capitalization and punctuation makes them much more clean, easier to read, and doesn't make you look like you have an IQ outnumbered by the amount of limbs you possess. Take, for instance, part of the first paragraph from part 1, and remove everything discussed in this part:

forums are not chatrooms whereas conversations in online chat clients are generally fairly quick and to the point forums are for extended discussion and a reasonable amount of effort should be put behind posts take your time writing these things im not saying you should spend half an hour for every post you write but at the very fucking least you should spend a minute or two to ensure that the post is of decent quality

No one wants to read these kinds of posts. If you frequently write like this, no one is going to take you seriously.



3. Spelling and common words.

Even if you aren't that fluent in the english language, there are three words that everyone with an even remote comprehension of the language knows how to spell. Every single one. The words in question are 'why', 'you' and 'are'. And they are not spelled 'y', 'u', or 'r'.

Seriously. Is typing out two extra fucking letters too much of an effort for you? This is where part 1 comes in again; Not bothering to type a common three-letter word correctly just gives everyone who reads your post the image that you're a lazy idiot who doesn't care about doing a proper fucking job. I'm not asking you to be a master of the english language, it's perfectly fine if you don't know the correct spelling for a lot of words, but you can easily tell the difference between someone who's poor at the language, but puts in an effort anyway, and someone who doesn't have the fucking decency to bother in the first place. In fact, let's take the previously butchered paragraph and butcher it some more for emphasis.

forums r not chatrooms whereas conversations in online chat clients r generally fairly quick and to the point forums r for extended discussion and a reasonable amount of effort should be put behind posts take ur time writing these things im not saying u should spend half an hour for every post u write but at the very fucking least u should spend a minute or two to ensure that the post is of decent quality

If you write posts like these, I will end you.



4.Unneccessary clutter and post content.

A common habit that most new forum users display is the annoying tendency to include a lot of unneccessary garbage in the posts they make, such as a needless overuse of emoticons, pointless formatting of text (colors, size), or other content that doesn't add anything of value to the post. Post formatting is a tool, but not one that is for every situation. Making your entire post a bright eye-searing pink will just make people ignore it and, again, consider you an idiot. Adding a smiley to the end of a post is fine. Add ten of them after every sentence and I will have you tried in the fucking Hague.

Tying into this is also post content that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. "Yeah that's a really really nifty thing you posted about oh and by the way you should go look at your skype." The latter part is something that could easily be reserved to private messaging, as it doesn't add anything to the post you're trying to make, nor the topic at hand.



5. Have a purpose behind your post.

Do not post just for the sake of posting. Really. I'm fucking serious. So serious, in fact, that I'm going to repeat it again, bolded, completely in capitals (briefly breaking part #2, don't try this at home, kids), for emphasis.

DO NOT POST JUST FOR THE SAKE OF POSTING.

No one is forcing you to post. It is not your job to provide a comment on every single topic out there. Now, the reason doesn't have to be grand. Providing your own insight (as long as it hasn't been repeated before, or if it bears repeating again) is a perfectly valid reason. Just don't feel like you're obligated to post in every single topic out there. (And really, if you have enough time to post in every single topic out there, you will also likely have the time to put some effort into every single one of them.)



That is all. Thank you for reading this guide. Hopefully it will have caused some of you to rethink your posting methods, and that is all that I seek to do.

[Knux]

If you want people to learn something, don't sound like you're shoving it down their throats. And by that, I mean cut down on the swearing. Otherwise, good job. It's about time someone made something like this.

Oh and, speaking of capitalizing, capitalize your title. It's a basic skill of essay writing.  

[Kenkoru]

ur fat

[Hallan Parva]

Myroc this post made me feel like Egoraptor with Mega Man X



Maybe this wasn't the best way to say it, but it needed to be said all the same. Go post this on other forums, even.

[xColdxFusionx]

Bravo, Myroc. You have done this forum a great service this day.

If only more people would follow this advice...

[Max]

Fucking count: 8

[Myroc]

Fucking count: 8

What can I say, I'm fond of the Precision F-Strike.

[Beed28]

The Cluster F-Bomb (NSFW LINK) probably fits more.

[HD_]

>Precision F-Strike

"Let's face it: people swear. However, some movies have a tendency to overdo it. Sometimes it can be pulled off, and sometimes it just sounds stupid. The Precision F Strike is the opposite of this. Put simply, it's where swearing has been used effectively to add weight to the sentence. The most common way of doing this is when a normally non-swearing character swears, meaning that things have just gotten really fucking serious."

Just sayin'.

Other than that, this post is the most beautiful post I have seen on Cutstuff, hands down.

EDIT: BEED YOU NINJA :l

[Ivory]

Thank you Myroc, though this better belongs in the tutorial collection where isn't going to drown into the depths of anything goes.

[SaviorSword]

I find the F-Strikes a biiiiiiit unprofessional. Imagine if future users read off of this topic and picked up on the constant F-bombin' habits...

Other than that, I find this "tutorial" useful for new folks to read... assumin' if they take the time to actually READ it.

Good job Myroc.

[Beed28]

I agree with removing the bad language. Removing it would make it much more professional.

[GameAndWatcher]

I believe this should be put back where it was, so more people can see it.

[D25]

Very good sir, you have made a tutorial that has saved many people from the heinous grasp of annoyingly stupid and/or grammar deprived posts. You have indeed saved the day, many thanks to you.
People should write posts as if they were writing something that actually matters. And thank you for being brave enough to say it.

[Myroc]

I find the F-Strikes a biiiiiiit unprofessional. Imagine if future users read off of this topic and picked up on the constant F-bombin' habits...

I agree with removing the bad language. Removing it would make it much more professional.

Fuck being professional. This guide goes through the basics of making a decent post, and merely having a few "fucks" in it doesn't detriment its pedagogical ability. I desire to enlighten people. That doesn't mean that I have to be nice about it. Nine Hells, the fact that I had to write this guide in the first place is more or less the reason to why I sound so mad in it. Repeated displays of human ignorance tends to have that effect on people.