Cutstuff Mafia Dinner Theater [Smash Still Worst]

[Ceridran]

Because he was fairly active.

There's a Gunslinger on the loose, and if we can find out who it might be, we can mark somebody on low suspicion if the role is based on them.

[Beed28]

Night 6

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.......

End log

[Magikarp]

is this the real life
or is this just fantasy
caught in a landslide
no escape from SMASH'S SLOW UPDATING PROCESS

[Russel]

I'm sure I covered this already. Smash is a busy man, just give him the benefit of the doubt and just be patient.

[Hallan Parva]

I honestly thought I had updated this before leaving. I forgot it took a good two hours to type this up though, so when I got back home I was greeted by the new post form along with a red "The submitted form was invalid. Try submitting again."

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Smash confirmed for officially "the worst" 2013, never forget.

(click to show/hide)

He opened the envelope, pulled out the note, and read it.

Max devilishly cracked his knuckles.

"Alright."



There was a podium at a stand, perched underneath a giant screen, and the whole place was lit up with various spotlights. Cardboard cutouts of Mets, slimes, ghosts, Sniper Joes, and various other low-level enemies were placed erratically in bleacher stands. There was a hologram of a non-gender-specific mannequin standing to the left of the podium, patiently waiting.

"Glad you could make it!" The hologram waved at Max. "Welcome to Synchro Hearts!"
"Yeah yeah yeah," Max muttered. "I know how this works. You've already broadcasted the last two games."
"Uh..." The hologram tilted its head. "Okay then, I guess we can just get started."
Max rested his hands on the podium. "I don't have all Night Phase."

The hologram retrieved a note card from an area where a pocket would--

"Just get on with it!"
"Yeesh." The hologram pressed his usual button on the side of the monitor. "Alright, ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," Max said.
"Alright then," the hologram said. "What is your sexual fantasy?"

Max scratched his chin for a moment, then came up with an answer almost immediately.

"Boobs." He said this decisively, but paused. "Asses too. Nice and large. I like the bouncing, the jiggling, the gelatinous movement. There's nothing quite like seeing those wonderful mounds sway back and forth as you thrust inside of her, hearing her shrieks of delight as you rock her world, bounce after bounce--"
"WHOOOOAAAAA that's a little too much information!" The hologram started to fizzle out. "There could be children watching!"
"What do I care?" Max said. "It's your fault for asking such a lewd question. Lewd... and rude. A rhyming crime."
The hologram's voice spoke out. "Anyway, that's all the time our program has. I'm sure you know about your prize?"

Max got off the stage and walked to the table, where his TM36 [Sludge Bomb] was waiting. He picked it up, turning it over, looking at it from every angle. He frowned.

"Let me guess, this one's useless too?"
"Pretty much," the hologram answered.
Max shrugged. "Whatever."

He left the stage and waited for sunrise...

-----------------------------------------------------

"We're good to go, then?"
"Yeah. Everything checks out."
"... He may have slipped away once, but this time... !!"

The two figures creeped through the dark alley, closing in on their target.

It was that boy again.

This time, he was fast asleep, unaware of the two figures approaching him. There was nothing saving him tonight.

"Locked and loaded..."
"Alright, the area's secure."
"Firing the Shatter Punch... !!"

Suddenly, the assassin raised their hand. Just... out of nowhere, like there was a teacher in a calss and the assassin knew the answer to a question. Unfortunately for them, it was the same hand holding the blaster. The attack sailed harmlessly into the air, a glowing energy fist rising higher and higher into the night sky.

"What!? What the hell happened?"
"I don't know! My hand's just... !! I can't put it back down!"

The boy, hearing the commotion, woke up and saw the two shadowy figures. Knowing the close call he ran into last time, he didn't approach them to make out who his attackers were, instead choosing to play it safe and get the heck out of there.

"... Shit! He's escaping again!"
"I can't shoot him down, my hand's stuck in the air!"
"Damn it!! ... Wait, who's that on the roof?"
"Their hand is glowing! Quick, don't let them escape!"

The two figures left the boy's quarters and wall-jumped up the sides of two houses. Startled, the mysterious figure started to take off, attempting to escape. The shadow figures chased in pursuit, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, until finally...

"Hey, my hand! It's responding again!"
"The fatigue probably made him slip up... Quick, shoot him!"
"Locked and loaded... Shatter Punch, go!"

Another glowing fist of energy, this one hitting the mysterious figure square in the back. Reeling from the attack's recoil, they teetered off of the rooftop, flailing about until they slammed into a small bed of flowers. The two shadowy figures leaped off the buildings and landed beside them.

The mysterious figure struggled for words, presumably from the pain. "I knew... I'd catch you... up to something..."
"Jax? To think you would be the one to cross us..." The assassin shadow shook its head.
"Some people just don't know to keep their noses in their own business," the other shadow said.
The assassin shadow shrugged. "We had planned this for the boy, but... I guess you'll make do."

The second shadow picked up Jax as the first shadow delivered a hook jab to Jax's face. He fell to the ground from the punch. The first shadow gave a short laugh, shortly before dropping a bunch of metal fold-up chairs on top of him.

Record of the Fallen

(click to show/hide)

Rozark (Townie Gentleman)
Played by: JaxOf7

Top hat? Check. Monocle? Check. Mustache? Check. Cane? Check. Old-fashioned pipe? Check check check-a-roonie. Wait a minute... oh right! Sinister-looking cat to sit on my lap while I give cryptic messages to our heroes? Check.

Want to get fancy? I want to get fancy. Let's get fancy. Fancy Feast.


Active Special: Raise Your Hand
During the Night Phase, you may target a player who was voted for in the previous Day Phase but was not voted out of the game. That player will feel compelled to raise their hand, allowing you to track what actions they take during that Night Phase. If you were the only person to vote against a particular player, you cannot target them with this ability.

Active Special: Jack's Grow
Twice in the entire game, during the Night Phase, you can spread some Jack's Grow around Mafia Island. During the following Day Phase, everyone will have to submit their votes through Cutmail, because now there's grass hair all over the place and it's kind of hard to see what everyone's doing through so much grass hair.

Mission: Survive to the end!

(click to show/hide)

The players gathered in the central plaza to discuss their plans for the Turn... or, they would have, had there not been some lady already in the plaza waiting for them. Despite the game's constant series of unfortunate events, she had an immense energy about herself. Her happiness stuck out like a sore thumb. Completely clad in a crystalline colour, her dress had two large tags hanging to the sides, and she was surrounded by an impressive white boa, almost as if it was a cloud. Her hair had two long blue ribbons hanging from a beautiful rose pendant. Actually, she sort of looked like this.

"Hey there everyone!" The girl smiled and waved.
"What's going on?" Super Raveman asked.
"You're beautiful..." Accel breathed.
Lego frowned. "Who are you, even?"
"My name is Mizaleen," said Mizaleen. "I was asked to present today's update!"
Korby raised his hand. "What's a Mizaleen?"
"I'm a Mizaleen!" Mizaleen pouted. "Whatever! It's time for the mid-game standings check!"
"Wait, what?" Ivory put her hands on her hips. "This isn't just a game. What about CrackHack?"
Mizaleen paused for a second. "What about CrackHack? For most of you, your Players are taking over your Actor Cards. Originally, there was a threat, but now... I'm not so sure."
"Players?" Llama scratched his head. "Excuse me?"
Mizaleen sighed. "This will probably be easier with a visual... Here, take a look."

She pulled out a small tablet, displaying a video on its screen.

"See here? That's the Dr. Fantazy on the mainland. Notice how he's sort of transparent around the edges? Every morning, he wakes up and thinks he's had some crazy dream about a gang of villains and the heroes trying to stop them... but really, his conscious is somehow being periodically summoned to this island. It's like he's spending most of his time on Cutter's Cove, but every now and then his soul can't help but check on what the Dr. Fantazy disguise is doing on Mafia Island, so it takes control of whoever is disguised as Dr. Fantazy. Back at HQ, we're calling these wandering souls 'Players'. It's silly, but it makes them easier to refer to."

Mizaleen put away her tablet. "There's some powerful magic influencing the area here, and I don't understand all of it myself, but... anyway, enough about that. Here are the current standings!"

Mizaleen clapped her hands twice, and a scoreboard of some sort appeared in the middle of the air.

"In fourth place is the Cutopian Guard, with only 37 Coins! How pitiful!"
"In third place is the Neutral team! They have a Star and 10 Coins, but can it last?"
"In second place is the Townie force! Also holding a Star, and with 53 Coins! Woohoo!"
"Way out in first is CrackHack, already holding 4 Stars! What a dominating lead!"

She again clapped her hands twice, causing the scoreboard to fade away.

"If I had to predict who would win... my money's on the Neutrals! They've been doing a good job of blending in with everyone, so keep it up! I also have a gift to give to the team in last place..."

Mizaleen waved her left hand in the air. It started to glow with a white aura, almost like a magic wand. She suddenly pointed to the sky, shooting the energy into the air, where it burst apart and rained down like tiny meteors.

"There we go! For this turn and this turn only, if a Cutopian Guard would have been voted out, they'll be saved by my magic charm. And... I've also just revived two players at random! They won't be revealed until Turn 8, so don't go ganging up on them! As for their alignments... well, that's a surprise!"

Mizaleen clapped her hands twice once again, opening a swirling portal behind her.

"That's all the gifts I have, but don't worry! It's still anyone's game, and if you believe in yourself, I'm sure you'll pull out a win! I'll come back when there's only five Turns left, but don't wait on me! Toodles!"

She stepped backward into the portal, the swirling vortex closing soon after. Mizaleen was gone.

Gumballtoid suddenly broke out into laughter. "BWAHAHAHA... fukken Mario Party! HEH HEH!"
"That's the last thing we need," Kirbysonic said. "Adding a luck element when we lost four Guard in a row."
"I'm sure it was just an analogy," Cold Fusion said. "Even still, we are getting our collective asses kicked..."
Ivory frowned. "I don't like what she said about that whole soul business. Players."
"That would explain why I've gotten so used to these robes," Korby said as he patted his robes.
"Or why I can't recall any of my Actor Card's memories," Venus said.

The group was thoroughly confused by this sudden turn of events.

Thunder folded his arms. "So... what do we do now?"

TURN 7 ~ DAY PHASE
(Another Escape? A Special Guest! The Girl From The Clouds!!)

[Ceridran]

(click to show/hide)

Want to get fancy? I want to get fancy. Let's get fancy.

oh yeah

MEANWHILE THAT'S ONLY ROZARK'S NOT AUTHOR CHARACTER

[Mendez]

The first shadow gave a short laugh, shortly before dropping a bunch of metal fold-up chairs on top of him.

If that was a reference to this, then I love the mafia so damn much right now.

[Thunderono]

hey you know what

Jax voted for KD and then got lynched during the night gee I wonder

+vote KD

Also if I just misinterpreted what just happened please let me know

[Ceridran]

huh

That might be kind of logical

I guess

help me I can't do anything without logic

no wait

+abstain for now

[King Dumb]

Except that your logic is flawed. Jaxof7 wasn't killed intentionally by the mafia, as is clearly evident by the story blurb. They were gunning for someone else, he used an ability and got in the way, and somehow they wound up killing him.

If you people keep this up the mafia is going to win in no time flat. So we need to start targeting the real suspects.

+Vote Magnet Dood.

He's been a suspect the whole time. His actions have had thinly veiled rationale, and he's been pretty consistent in targeting good guys. I'm surprised he hasn't been voted off yet.

EDIT: ...In fact, this is very odd behavior for only the second day, where it's usually customary to claim abstinence. Why are you egging on others to vote if you know yourself that the chance of knocking off a mafia member is incredibly slim?

This is pretty suspicious activity so early in the game. I'm gonna switch my vote to Accel, since he seems to be pretty dead-set on getting people to start firing off their votes without any direction.

This is just an example of the aggressive behaviour he has displayed; flawed logic (it is very rarely customary to abstain so much here) used to justify a vote for gasp! a good guy.

[Thunderono]

Except, if you were to read the actor card, Jax never had an ability to take a shot.  The raise your hand ability only allowed him to track what they were doing, not block shots.

[Rozark]

The role was amazing.
+10.

[Korby]

Everyone who's voted has likely voted for a good guy so far, King Dumb. Using that logic is flawed. I also have to agree that it's very suspicious that Jax happened to die after voting for you, and also that you haven't voted once in the entirety of this game despite obviously being active.

+Vote King Dumb

[Russel]

voting KD

I'll follow Thunder's logic here.

[King Dumb]

Except, if you were to read the actor card, Jax never had an ability to take a shot. The raise your hand ability only allowed him to track what they were doing, not block shots.

That isn't at all what I was talking about. The point is that the mafia never targeted Jaxof7. Their intent was not to kill him. You can see this by the fact that they (the Mafia) were targeting another person, when his ability activated and someone else' ability interrupted the attack, apparently switching the target to Jaxof. Ergo, it was not in retaliation for a vote the previous turn. Ergo, everyone else who has been silent should be just as much of a suspect as I am, because there's nothing pointing to me being in the mafia.

Everyone who's voted has likely voted for a good guy so far, King Dumb.

Except the key ingredient is the haste and abandon with which Magnet Dood has been voting.