The Cutopian Writers' Guild

[coolcat7022]

Honestly, after you guys finish it and make a sequal, i know i'm an extremely unlikely candidate.

[<geminibro>]

Inspired by recent events, here's a small story that i wrote.

(click to show/hide)

It was morning over Cutopia, everyone was waking up, and the recently-formed small nation of Geminitopia was waking up too, but; There was also, something else waking up.

Various Cutopians, taking a stroll through Pansage Park, enjoying the fresh, brisk morning air, but then, they were approached by two, tall... Robotic men, wearing thick trench coats. One said, monotonously: "GET A FREE VACATION TO THE BAHAMAS! BUT FIRST; YOU NEED TO BUY! BUY BUY!" The Cutopian took a step back, and ran. But the second one; Ice, said, exhaling. "You know that's against the Cutopian laws, offering things illegally can result in a death sentence!" But before Ice could add onto his sentence; the robot offered Ice a deal, Ice declined.

At Cutter's Cove, the ransacked White Cutter stood there; apparently, the Cutopian Royal Cleaning Service got really lazy and decided to take a plunge off of the coast of Neo Solenna and got arrested for some reason. But, various tall robotic men were coming out of a cave.

And in the cave, there was a small assembly line where the robots were being mass produced, and a small, hollow glass ball hung over the line.

"Whelp." A man said, with black hair and a vivid cyan beard. He was wearing prison clothes, which were torn and tattered, due to excruciating torture. "I can't believe it. I made it out of that high-security prison, ain't that right; Dictator Birdbot." "That's right, Midnight!  And now look at us, making a invasion of spambots, any major evil people residing in this realm would be soooooooooooooo proud!"

And so, the invasion of the spambots begun.

Sorry guys, if it's a bit rushed and crappy. Plus, i couldn't use any evil cutopian character besides AirManJames, so i used MidnightTH, plus...

He is always back. (Isn't he on the list of most wanted Cutopians?)

[Jatea]

Sup losers
we've got some more

CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl

but it's in season 2 mode now

here it is

go read it

or not

i don't care

[-FiniteZero-]

So I had an assignment to write a story for my Creative Writing Class. This was the result.

(click to show/hide)

As I watched the circle with the slowly rotating lines in it, I wondered when the Furless Ones would come back. I could use a back rub. I took a moment to snuggle the resting place of the Furless Ones, which was softer than my mother's underbelly fur, before leaping off. It still smelled from the previous time the Furless Ones mated. I went through the rectangular wooden arc in the wall, and went down the soft chiseled slope. On my left was the room where they sat on the sitting place, which was not as soft as their resting place, and looked at the box that often contained moving images of other furless.

   I made my way to the food-making place, climbing up and leaping onto the raised hard surface, prowling around the various objects the Furless Ones tended to use. It was usually the Vanilla-Scented Female that made food for herself and the other Furless One, though it was the Lavender-Scented Female that normally fed me. I took a moment to reflect on this before leaping back down and heading towards the Eating Place.

   I walked around the wooden legs of the sitting things and the eating things, before coming up to my purple scratching thing. I entertained myself for a few minutes, the smell of the object enticing me to scratch it more. Eventually, I grew bored and looked at the natural area that was blocked by the almost-invisible wall. The Lavender-Scented Female usually let me out to hunt and play.

   I made my way back and began to explore the sitting place I saw earlier. I sat on the eating thing that was much smaller than the other one, this one between the box and the soft sitting thing. I looked at the image box, which was large but thin. I liked the other one better, as I could lay on top of it when it was on. It was warm and inviting.

   I heard the sound of The Furless Ones returning, and I ran over to greet them. I then noticed that they were getting engaged in pre-mating behavior, and the next thing I noticed was the new small metal band on the hand of The Lavender-Scented Female. It had a white shiny gem on it, one my eyes were drawn to. Perhaps the back rub could come later?

[Galactan]

Procrastination makes perfect!
3 months worth of it, however, makes me annoyed.

Thwarted (Part 1)

(click to show/hide)

"Attention all station inhabitants.  The climate control system is malfunctioning.  Expect periods of extreme heat in scattered regions throughout the day."

Galactan was overjoyed.  He had finally made it aboard the one place where he was free to destroy anything, with absolutely nothing stopping him, Space Station Omega Žet.  The armies that usually tracked his every move were nowhere to be seen, and would be for quite some time.  He was free!  He laughed maniacally as he strode down main street at simulated 2 AM.  He didn't care if some loony was up this late, he'd simply destroy them in an instant if they so much as peeped about his presence.

He grinned widely and began rapidly muttering to himself.  "Oooohoohoo, where to start?  The drug store, perhaps?  Or maybe the eye clinic?  It's all so tantalizing!"  He was like a kid in a candy shop, his eyes darting over the town, trying to find what would make the best target.  He finally settled on the hospital, its stone support pillars making excellent targets.

His eyes darted left and right, before he reared his hands back and focused, preparing two kinetopulses to obliterate the pillars and bring the front of the hospital to the ground.

His plans were altered, however, when a dull impact struck the back of his skull.  He lurched forward, stumbling for a moment before crashing to the ground.  He lay there groaning for a moment, before pushing up and rising to his full height.  Now enraged, he whipped around, prepared to slaughter anyone who would stand against him.  What he saw, however, replaced his rage with a fit of giggles.  Behind him stood the ridiculous form of Goldfish Man, posed in an awkward martial arts stance that made him seem ready to tip over at any moment.  In truth, he was, though his expression of anger didn't reveal this.

Galactan began to calm down from his laughing fit, and glanced at Goldfish Man again.  "You...  what are you?  A circus freak?" at this, he broke down laughing again.  His laughter was cut short, however, by a swift kick to the back of his knee that sent him tumbling backwards and on to the ground once again.  His smile was gone; he was again filled with anger.  "Okay, now you're done." was his short response from the ground.

In an instant, Galactan's hand shot out and latched on to Goldfish Man's ankle, gripping it tightly.  Goldfish Man pulled and wriggled, but could not escape.  He continued trying, however, until a new sensation overtook his leg: numbness.  He glanced down and found that a pale blue sheen was spreading across his scales and flesh, emanating from where Galactan held the ankle.  Galactan merely grinned.

In under twenty seconds, the sheen had overtaken all of Goldfish Man's body, leaving it numb and frozen.  Even his own blood was stopped in the veins, leaving him in perfect stasis.  Galactan released his grip, got up, and dusted himself off.  He was still quite angry, and decided to move on to what he had planned for last: Duff Manor.  It was a good minute's walk away, and by the time he got there, he was itching for destruction.  But Galactan immediately spotted a problem: a security guard that looked like a brick with legs.

Galactan slowly waltzed over to the guard, stationed at the gate to the mansion.  He identified the guard quickly, as it was the same guy from the club a few weeks prior, Beef McWall.  No problem, right?

"Hey, yous!  Watchoo doin' around here?" shouted Beef.  He barely fit inside of his shirt, which was stretched thin across his arms and chest.  He peered closely at Galactan, who was now only a few feet away.  "Wait..." he said, sneering, "I know yous!  You're da guy that ruined my last job!  Now I gotta work in this dumbass weather!"  Memories of how good his bouncer job was were flooding back, making him angry.  Angry muscle-bound guys were problems.  Big problems.

In an instant, Beef pounced forward and knocked Galactan over, before kneeling down to get face-to-face.  Beef stared for a moment, snarling, then proceeded to grasp Galactan around the neck and lift him up to a standing position.

"I'd appreciate it... if you let go..." squeaked Galactan, "You'll ruin my... collar..."  But there was no such luck.  With a roar, Beef hurled Galactan at the door of Duff Manor, sending him through it in a spray of splinters.  Galactan braced for impact with the floor, but it never came.  He was flying.  He rebounded off the wall and flew towards the ceiling.  Now realizing that gravity was nonexistent here, he cushioned his impact on the ceiling with his hands.

Outside, there was a bright flash.  Galactan didn't notice, as he was attempting to orientate himself to the new lack of gravity.  He was in what appeared to be a foyer, except that all the surfaces were walls covered in ornate wood paneling.  A coat rack drifted lazily through the air, and a few pairs of shooes were velcroed to the wall right next to the door.  A flashing red light stuck out of one surface, and a siren blared through the air.  "INTRUDER ALERT!  HEAT FLASH ALERT!" screamed over the top of all of it.  All of it added up to one very confused Galactan, who simply drifted with a dazed expression on his face.

Beef had lumbered through the door and was preparing to jump at Galactan when, suddenly, the alarms shut off.  There was a brief pause before a voice came on over an intercom.

"BEEF!" shouted the voice, "I SWEAR IF YOU'RE BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR AT THIS UNGODLY TIME TO TELL ME ABOUT THE HEAT FLASH I WILL PERSONALLY THROW YOU INTO SPACE!"  Beef cooly replied with "Nah, boss, wees got a visitor!  A very special visitor!"  He then leapt at Galactan, tackling him in a bear hug in midair and carrying him to the wall farthest from the door. He then slammed him flat against it and followed with a powerful punch to the abdomen.  The wall paneling splintered, and Galactan coughed up blood.

"BEEF!" shouted the voice once again, "STOP BREAKING MY HOU- YOU KNOW WHAT?  I'M COMING DOWN THERE!"  Beef's face was suddenly awash with terror.  He grabbed Galactan by the ankle and carried him to a room containing a floating couch, a digital fireplace, and a chair rooted to what was presumably the ground.  A den, presumably, thought Galactan.

The owner of the voice, one Mr. Stanley Duff, drifted into the room through the doorway that Beef had taken.  He was dressed in pajamas, but wore a belt decked out with all sorts of technological weaponry, including a beam sword and a railgun pistol.  Beef whirled his head around and, seeing Stanley, threw his hands up and smiled weakly.  "Oh uh, hi Mr. Duff!" he stuttered out, "I'm sorry about your wall in there.  I uh... had to in... incapas... disable this guy here."  

Stanley looked annoyed with the mess that was going on.  "You could've backhanded him and gotten a similar result, you big oaf."  Beef merely grinned sheepishly.  Stanley ignored him and focused on Galactan, who was slowly doing flips in the middle of the room.  "I've been expecting you, you know." he said nonchalantly, "At least a dozen security cameras picked you out in the shuttle station down in Agorix City."  He chuckled before drawing his railgun pistol.  "And now I get to finish you off!"

But before Stanley could pull the trigger, a glint of gold flashed outside and Goldfish Man came crashing through the window in an awkward ninja kick pose.  Beef, seeing a potential threat to Stanley, jumped to intercept his trajectory, but instead found himself kicking a hole in the wall at his feet.  Goldfish Man's foot connected with Galactan's back, sending him out of the room and bouncing around the house.  Stanley floated there, dumbfounded for a moment before coming to his senses and firing a single shot at the new intruder.  The miniature rail merely bounced off one of Goldfish Man's scales, and found a new home in the wall.  Stanley's biological eye twitched.

Goldfish Man glanced around before shouting "POTATO SANDWICHES!" and disappearing in pursuit of Galactan.

[Hallan Parva]

I don't know what I'm doing

(click to show/hide)

"Doomseeker"


every night I go through the same ritual
every night I venture into the lands of Doomseeker
every night I'm hopeful for that fateful moment

"the legendary server will appear to that who is true to 8BDM"

I venture into the open fields
look up into the starry sky
and load the server list

a vast sea of servers appears in the night sky
I quickly gaze across the dimensions
looking across empty map after empty map
finally I see a server packed full of players

"Justified Classes TLMS"

... Tonight is not the night.

there is no vanilla server for me tonight
I wave the air in front of me, clearing the server list
the empty servers disappear one by one from the night sky
flickering, blinking, those other dimensions disappear from sight
until finally there is only one server left in front of me
that one populated server filled with other players
the dimensional portal beckons to me
I want to send it my signal, I want to rise into the sky
flying through the rift and being surrounded by so many other faces

... Tonight is not the night.

I must remain pure.
I am true to 8-Bit Deathmatch.

I close that last portal and turn my back to the night
leaving the lands of Doomseeker
returning to the place I call home

... Tonight is not the night.

[Dr. Crasger]

I don't know what I'm doing

(click to show/hide)

"Doomseeker"


every night I go through the same ritual
every night I venture into the lands of Doomseeker
every night I'm hopeful for that fateful moment

"the legendary server will appear to that who is true to 8BDM"

I venture into the open fields
look up into the starry sky
and load the server list

a vast sea of servers appears in the night sky
I quickly gaze across the dimensions
looking across empty map after empty map
finally I see a server packed full of players

"Justified Classes TLMS"

... Tonight is not the night.

there is no vanilla server for me tonight
I wave the air in front of me, clearing the server list
the empty servers disappear one by one from the night sky
flickering, blinking, those other dimensions disappear from sight
until finally there is only one server left in front of me
that one populated server filled with other players
the dimensional portal beckons to me
I want to send it my signal, I want to rise into the sky
flying through the rift and being surrounded by so many other faces

... Tonight is not the night.

I must remain pure.
I am true to 8-Bit Deathmatch.

I close that last portal and turn my back to the night
leaving the lands of Doomseeker
returning to the place I call home

... Tonight is not the night.

That was *sniff* beautiful...

[Davregis]

(click to show/hide)

SmashBroPlusB'

Every day

Every day it is I go and see perhaps today is the day
Perhaps today Smash will not advertise catgirls and websites
Baited with the most foul of links
A cunning trap
By a devious adversary who will stoop to nothing
Who will disguise links without a thought for the creed
For the dark purity of pron he turns down for nothing and the world

The world may only watch in horror
Repulsed, unable to look away as one is unable to look away from a train wreck
except this is no train wreck this is something far milder
far less of an infraction--

smash what

[Magikarp]

i wrote something for a friend today because birthday and i was like 'lol why not' so here you guys go
i'm proud of it

(click to show/hide)

"Here, come closer. I wish to show you something."

Gentle arms wrapped around you, picking you up and bringing you close to their owner, who placed you in his lap and smiled down at you. His black and green eyes, while normally cold and cruel, are warm, and his smile is even more so.

"Up there." He pointed towards the heavens, to a cluster of stars that twinkled serenely. "That is where I come from. From here, it looks beautiful, doesn't it? Away from the strife, the chaos..."

He sighed, gently running his fingers through your hair, idly braiding it. "You Earthlings are a very violent species at heart, but... there are those like you who are kind, and happy. Who wish to make others feel better. That is an honorable trait, young one. Never forget that, and never give it up."

He sighed quietly, shaking his head, warm green hair waving as a cold breeze blew by. "You are a gift to this world, and a gift it so desperately needs. You have talents that you don't even realize you have, and with those, you can make your planet a better place. You may be one, but if one can rule a planet, then one can change a planet, as well. You may very well be the hero this planet needs."

He pulled you closer, a loose but neat braid draped carefully over your shoulder, his own mane shaken out a bit as he sat up straighter. "There will be beings who wish to bring you down, and you will meet more than once obstacle in your life. But, remember, never give up. Those are merely temporary. They will not stay, not for long."

He allowed the early morning ambience to play its symphony now, the cluster of stars he had pointed out fading as the sun slowly rose, painting the landscape below with soft pastel hues. A small bird perches nearby on the very edge of the cliff, warbling jovially before flittering off in search of food.

"So, sixteen Earth years old today? That's quite the accomplishment." He chuckled softly, ruffling your hair again. "I may have to bring you some of the finest filtered Rytingei nectar, perhaps even invite the rest of the platoon. This calls for a celebration, and a feast that you will remember fondly for the rest of your life."

Another chuckle. "Where I am from, what you call 'Birth Days' are symbolic of making it through the numerous tests that surround our lifestyle. A single orbital cycle, or year on our planet, is thousands and thousands of Earth years long. I am one thousand five hundred orbital cycles old, one of the oldest beings on our planet. Perhaps you will live to be my age, one day? You are certainly worthy of the wisdom."

He gently picked you up, standing to his full height and putting you on his shoulders, mane draping over you like a warm blanket, carefully parted by the Stardroid so it was out of your face.

"Come, now. We must get ready for the celebration!"

in short: roleplay leads to weirdly complex and sometimes out of character moments that everyone likes for some reason

[-FiniteZero-]

[New Life]

A mistake triggering cataclysm,
One only I could make.

Violently shoved to the side,
Bones breaking under pressure.

Intricate and delicate machines I have built,
Obliterated by a shockwave.

Tender flames licked my cheek,
Leaving charred flesh in their wake.

No more feeling in my arm,
No more skin to damage.

Smoke obscured my vision,
Gently pouring down my throat.

Through technology,
I was lost.

Through technology,
I am reborn.

[xColdxFusionx]

So I was thinking about random stories I could write about various things
And Arle happened to cross my mind
And one thing led to another and I had a thought

So here, have
The Hook Starring someone who may or may not be Arle Giskell, I'm not entirely sure

(click to show/hide)

"At last, we're finally here. My humble abode. ...Well, 'humble' is a bit of a stretch. You'll see once we get inside.

"...Assuming you'll stop screaming, of course. Seriously, you're quite the noisy one. It's not like I'm going to hurt you or anything.

"...Oh, no, no, hurting you would be counterproductive, not to mention rude. What did you think I was going to do to you?

"...Heavens, no! I wouldn't do that! What do you take me for, some sort of sadistic bitch who prowls the night looking for souls to torture? My modus operandi may be... brutal at times, but I have standards. I wouldn't do anything of the sort.

"However, my dear, I do have plans for you. It's simple, really. All it requires is for you to cooperate.

"...No, no! Didn't I just say I wasn't going to do that? Listen to me! You have ears for a reason, you-

"...Let me explain.

"You're here, my dear, as a... business opportunity.

"We dragons didn't always kidnap people, you know. There was a point in time where dragons stealing anything that wasn't gold or food was unheard of. The first kidnapping was a fit of lovestruck insanity, as the stereotype would have you believe. Every other dragon thought stealing a live human was crazy.

"That is, before they noticed his horde gaining all sorts of shiny new trinkets.

"You see, adventurers from all the nearby towns heard about this maiden the dragon had swept away. So many set out to find this crazy son of a bitch's lair. And what do adventurers like to bring with them on adventures?

"That's right. Their gear.

"All those shiny magic items were now in that lucky bastard's grasp. Every day, a new staff, a new circlet, a new chestplate found its way into his horde. Occasionally, a new battle scar would show up if he was unlucky. Eventually, he was overcome by one party and slain.

"That's why you're here, my darling. All I have to do now is spread the rumors, maybe post a note on the Adventurer's Guild quest board, and I'll have myself a nice income in no time. All I have to do is pick the precious bits off the corpses of the fools who fall to the traps, and possibly cut a deal with whoever's lucky enough to make it all the way through.

"...I guess you could say that it's a bit like fishing for fools.

"My cavern's the hook.

"And you're the bait."

[Dr. Crasger]

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, here's a little number I tossed off recently at the Caribbean.

"RE: Norwegian Blue Parrot"

(click to show/hide)

Eric Praline
314 Chipswi
Notlob
July 28, 1976

Mr. Cheeks
Similar Pet Stores, Ltd.
Ipswich, Bolton

Dear Mr Cheeks,
Re: Norwegian Blue Parrot

I had purchased this parrot not even half a day ago from your rather swell boutique and now I wish to register a complaint, as when I tried to feed it that night, I had found out it was dead-- for quite some time, actually.

When you had sold it to me that fine morning, you told me that parrot was "just resting", sitting atop its porch. You, sir had assured me that this parrot was in good health and was just tired after a "prolonged squawk" and a "quick pining for the fjords". I took your now blatant lies as something to believe at the time, paid for the corpse and went about my business.

It was when I tried to feed it a cracker that I had seen it fall off its perch, flat on its back and looking as dead as Napoleon was in the battle of the Waterloo. I took the liberty of examining its corpse to find that it had been nailed to the perch, its feathers falling off and the body feeling as faint, cold and limp as a pile of raw Spam.

You were lucky that I had a cold that time; as I had been puzzled the whole day as to why people were coverin' their noses and glaring at old, dead Polly in his cage.

Upon close inspection later that night and a couple of tests to see whether or not he was still alive, I had indeed confirmed that Polly parrot was deceased; he had passed on, he was dead, a stiff; he rests in peace, bereft of life, pushing the daisies, off the twig and was undoubtedly mincemeat from that point onwards. This parrot, is an EX-PARROT.

I ask of you, Mr. Cheeks, a solution to this predicament. We can, obviously, rule out a resurrection as the body was pretty much crushed under the weight of my hands as I had examined it-- how about you give me another parrot, instead?

God I wish they aren't out of stock.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible about this situation, Mr. Cheeks.

Sincerely,
Mr. Praline

Basically Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch in the form of a letter of complaint.

[Thunderono]

I'm pretty certain I didn't get a whole lot better at this
But I'll be damned if Marn isn't fun to write for

A Night Out

(click to show/hide)

9:00 PM, Somewhere in eastern Agorix

“Yo, barkeep!  Another.”

“You sure you can handle that?  You don’t look all that big…”

“I’ll give you fifty dollars right now if you cut the shit.”

“Deal.”

   A drink slid down the counter, coming to rest in a gloved hand.  In the other hand was a wad of cash which smoothly found its way into the barkeep’s wallet.  In three seconds, the drink was downed.

“Another.”

“Dude, Thunder, you can’t handle that.  That’s like your second one and you’re already acting stupid.”

“He already acts stupid!  Let him drink all he wants, nothin’s gonna change.”

“Go to hell, Marn!  Where’s that drink?”

“Nah, but Zoey’s got a point.  You’re a fucking lightweight.”

From behind the counter, the barkeep rolled his eyes.  He began to mutter quietly to himself.

“Since when the hell did you care about my well-being?  I’m sitting here trying to drink off this shitty day, and ‘Oh look it’s Marn fucking Goakes the health inspector coming to make sure all you kids eat their fruits and vegetables!’”

“Sheesh, look who got sand up their asshole.  What, did the ice cream man forget to drop by?”

“Fuck you!”

Zoey slammed her fist on the counter, startling the two.  “Enough, both of you.  Thunder, you said you had a shitty day.  What happened?”

Thunder looked from her hand, still in a fist, to her face, to Marn, to her face again.  “Right… well, I think it was around 1:38 or so.  I’m sitting in the park catching up with Hamil when some guy starts screaming like a baby and running for his life.  I’m confused as all hell until it starts getting dark as shit.  I tell Hamil to take off, she does.  And who else would decide to show up at that point than Carbin god damn Slen?”

Another drink slid past Zoey into Thunder’s hand.  “Carbin’s the creepy guy, right?”

She got no response for a while, as Thunder was busy downing his next drink.  When he finally finished, he nodded.  “Yeah, that one.  I think I’m his favorite target now.  When I got up to fight, he mumbled some shit about his prey never getting away or some shit like that.  Genuine weirdo.  Didn’t manage to get me too bad, though.  All he really managed was a cut on the back of my hand.”  Thunder took off the glove on his left hand to showcase.

Marn scoffed.  “Judging by the fact that you’re in here downing your fourth drink, I’d say you didn’t really get him, either.”

“Soon to be fifth.  My problem is he employs the same strategy I do, but in a different way.  I dodge shit, he just plain fucking vanishes.  So I get ready to land a real good blow, and he’s just gone.  For good, that time.  It’ll probably be a week tops before I have to deal with him again.”

Zoey looked at the drink in Thunder’s hand.  “How are you not wasted?  You know you can’t handle alcohol.”

The barkeep began to snicker.  “I started givin’ him apple juice after the second drink.”  A shriek of laughter could be heard from Marn.  “Fuckin’ apple juice?!  Look at him!  Big fucking macho man over there sitting in the pub downing glasses of god damn apple juice!”

“Both of you can just go straight to hell.  Right now.  Go on, I’ll meet you there.”

“Why don’t you make me?  I’m sitting right here, you can do something about it!  Or are you too scared, huh?  Think you can’t take me?  Think you can’t outdo ol’ Marn?  You know you can’t.  You can’t even beat Zoey over there, what makes you think you can beat m-“

Marn was interrupted by a blast of wind, sending him flying out of a nearby window.  Quick on his feet, he grabbed a beacon from his pocket and hurled it at the ground.  A bright flash came from the pub, scaring anyone who hadn’t already fled sprinting from the premises.  When Thunder finally emerged from the building, Marn was slightly surprised to find that Thunder stood a little taller, with a mild wind seemingly perpetually blowing around him.

“What’s with you?”

“Form change.  I’ll explain in more detail when I’m done kicking your sorry ass!”

Inside the bar, Zoey looked apologetically at the bartender.  “Uh, sorry about all this.  This happens like every other week. They’ll be done in ten minutes, tops.”

A crash outside drew their attention back to the street, where a large mech now stood in a small crater where the beacon used to be.  A small cockpit at the top opened up, and Marn hopped in.  Two rocket pods emerged from the shoulders and dumb-fired at Thunder.  The wind at his feet rose up and ran through his arms, exploding out of his hands at the salvo.  The unexpected turbulence sent one of the incoming rockets at the ground, creating a plume of smoke in front of the speedster.  In response, the hands of the mech turned into dual miniguns.  They whirred loudly as bullets began to scream out of the barrels towards the plume.  However, when the cloud subsided, Thunder was not standing there.

“Heads up, you no-good dumbass!”

Marn looked up to find Thunder standing to the mech’s right.  He turned to fire, but a potent blast of wind hit the left minigun, sending it firing wildly around the street.  One stray bullet hit a nearby fire hydrant, causing an explosion of water to roar directly at the mech.

“That’s your plan?  Fuckin’ water?  You’ll have to do better than that.”

Marn turned to the stream and stomped the ground, causing a pinkish shield to emanate from the front of the mech.  The water hitting the shield began to fly everywhere, soaking every window and car on the street.

“Hah!  That’s how a REAL man takes care of a puny little attack like that!  …Huh?”

Another blast of wind hit the leg of the mech from the front, sending it toppling down.  The water hitting the glass cockpit coupled with the force of impact broke the dome, delivering a mixture of highly pressurized water and glass directly into Marn’s head.  Control keyboards and monitors began to spark, prompting Marn to leave the mech.

“Look what you did, you little rat!  It’ll take me weeks to fix this thing!”

“It’s what you get for picking a fight.  Heh, that was pathetic!  Didn’t even have to draw rocket storm!”

“Is that what you call that stupid thing?  Agh, I don’t care.  Can we go to a hospital or something so I can get this glass out of my head?  It fucking hurts.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.  I’ll call ahead.  I think they don’t like us showing up unannounced anymore.”


1:30 AM, East Agorix Medical Center

“Hey, Marn, you feeling alright?  Wouldn’t want any of that precious space in your head to get taken up.”

“Go to hell!  Hurts like a bitch.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you decided to bite off more than you could chew!”

“Well how was I supposed to know you’d go fucking windy apeshit?”

Before Thunder could hurl another insult at his hospitalized teammate, Zoey walked into the room.  She looked briefly at Marn before turning to Thunder.  “Quick question?  What even happened back there?  I don’t remember you ever being able to use wind.”

“Hey, what about me?!  The guy with the glass in his head?”

“Judging by the kind of shit you were talking in the bar, I’d say it’s more beneficial to have something in there than not.  Now, Thunder?”

Thunder did not reply, as he was staring out the window distractedly.  Zoey snapped her fingers, bringing him to attention.  “Huh?  What?”

“What happened back at the bar?”

Thunder shifted his weight uncomfortably.  “Er, well, I said it back there.  It was just a form change, nothing special.”

“So you’re telling me I could just turn on a flashlight and start hurling fireballs?  Bullshit!  Normal people can’t usually ‘Form Change,” as you call it.  What’s going on?”

The speedster’s eyes were darting across the room.  “Uh, well, you see…”

“Today, please!  Or do I need to go get the pipe again?”

Thunder’s eyes widened, and his breathing quickened.  “Fine, calm down!  Jeez!  …Ugh, sit down.  This one’s more of a story than an explanation.”

“Oh no, not a story!  Quick everyone, run for your lives!  He’s about to talk for more than ten seconds at a time!”

“Shut up, Marn.  Anyway, I should probably lead into this by saying that I wasn’t really born in a… conventional way.  See, back when my parents had Hamil, they weren’t really that well off.  They’d intended to have two children, so when my dad fell ill and had to be hospitalized, my ma was devastated.  She didn’t want to adopt or do any other sick shit, so she figured that if she couldn’t have another kid, she’d just make one.  So she somehow managed to get her hands on a bunch of summoning parts for an elemental, instead.  Problem was, she had parts for two different elementals: a wind, and an electric.  But she figured she’d try it anyway, and I guess it worked, because here I stand.  I’m kind of a mixture of both types, but it’s really one or the other.  I think it changes like every other week.  At the very least, I’m not really stable enough to actually have control over the form I use.”

“So, you can’t decide what kind of a bitch you want to be?”

“Alright, you know what?  Fuck it.  I’m done with him.  Have fun fixing your mech, asshole.”

The door slammed behind Thunder as he left.  Zoey gave Marn a quick glance before following suit.

“Where are you guys going?  It’ll be so boring around here without the little ass to laugh at!  …Damn it!”

[Shade Guy]

Here's poem I started a month or two ago and finished off today.

Water Bottle and a Bed

(click to show/hide)

When left to its own devices, my mind panics
Suspects, associates
Fabricates patterns
None justifiable
But that's what happens when you're left
With a water bottle and a bed.

I opened the door again, the first time in a month
Only to find she had tried to visit
Did she seek comfort, or know I sought it?
No matter, she's long gone
Sympathy shatters no barriers today, so here I remain
With a water bottle and a bed.

How did text comfort me the most?
Can I convey the same effect?
With little provocation, only a few gentle words are needed
But still nothing plastic and bedding can provide
So leave the bottle, climb out of bed, open the door
Drink fresh water, sit outside and learn to live without walls.

I'd also like to use this post to again advertise my writing blog, Tangent's Holiday Project, where this poem was also posted on, among several other pieces of writing. I'll likely still post things here too, but any stories with continuity will remain on that site, if anyone is interested.

[Gumballtoid]

outdated
temporarily redacted