Songwriting Advice

[Steve Stone]

I wrote this song and wanted some thoughts and constructive criticism.  If you have a chance please check it out.

Here is link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFzwDcdHQxk

[Caprice]

In my personal opinion, this sounds really good! I don't really like the ending that much though, I personally think that the final words for each verse in the ending kinda drag on for too long.

[Steve Stone]

So you would shorten it?

[Caprice]

Personally, yeah. It's fine as-is, though; this is just my personal opinion.

[Colonel ServBot]

Ahem, Colonel Servbot Song a Writing Critique GO!

First off, I think the sound of songs are like the graphic in a game, it doesn't always matter. Although I am not a fan of acoustic guitars, I will say that you, Mr. Steven Stone, have loads of talent up your sleeves. It seems perfectly orchestrated and put together. I would also say that the message of the song (a crucial part to music IMO) is very understandable, relatable, and great. The CSCB (Colonel ServBot Critique Base) gives this an 8/10.
Personally, I'd listen to it again. Good Job Mr. Stone.

[Steve Stone]

Wow I didn't expect compliments.  Thanks all

[Magnet Dood]

Got to hear a smidge of it and I have to say your guitar playing is excellent. Work on your pitch a bit, though; your singing sounds a bit off at places. Keep up the good work!

[Steve Stone]

Thanks Guys